HLN RESEARCH. Eva adopted Alex (10) from Colombia last year, but now makes a shocking discovery: “Why was everyone silent about this?”
Eva adopted Alex (10) from Colombia last year, but now makes a shocking discovery: “I cried when I read it”
A year ago, Eva landed in Zaventem with a Colombian boy. She drove home with Alex (10) very happy and since then she has cared for her adopted son with lots of love. Today the family's world is turned upside down, because Eva did a shocking discovery about Alex's history. “I am extremely angry and disappointed,” she says. “Why have the government and adoption agency been silent about this?”
At the table in her living room, Eva (31) nervously fiddles with the folders laid out in front of her. The pile is at least a foot high and contains documents that have recently shaken up her life. She waves her hands over her eyes, hoping her cheeks stay dry. “Sorry, but I'm getting emotional just thinking about it.” She fishes a small folder out of the stack, takes out one photo and holds it up in the air. I see a girl and a woman posing next to a cake. It's hard to believe that this innocent scene hurts Eva so much. And yet I see her cringe. To understand why, I have to take you to Colombia.
At the end of last year, Eva landed in Bogotá - the capital of Colombia - with her father for a trip that would change her life. After a grueling and long administrative procedure, the teacher from Limburg was finally able to meet Alex, an eight-year-old boy whom she was allowed to adopt, in November. “We had already had video conversations, but I was extremely nervous before that first physical meeting,” she says. “You always wonder how a boy like that will react to a complete stranger who becomes his new mom.”
Alex walked up to an office of the Colombian government adoption agency, led by two social workers. “As soon as he saw me, he let go of their hands and enthusiastically ran towards me for a hug,” Eva smiles. “There was an immediate warm connection between us.” That bond has only become stronger a year later. “Alex has adapted easily to life in Belgium. He goes to school, has friends and already speaks some Dutch. The two of us make a nice family.”
As she tells it, a birthday balloon floats down. Alex just turned ten years old and that was a big celebration. “It was his first birthday in Belgium,” Eva winks. “He thought it was fantastic. And I. Although I couldn't enjoy it as much due to all the stress of the past few weeks.”
The single mother refers to the discovery she recently made when she looked through all kinds of emails and documents on her laptop. “A bundle of more than fifty digital files that I received in May - after a lot of insistence - but which I barely had time to go through them at my leisure.” This concerns all documents that adoption service Het Kleine Mirakel had in its possession about Alex.
“I had already received some of these before the trip to Colombia, but I had to wait another six months for others. However, these are documents with important information about Alex and his past.” These are two screenshots of email traffic between the Colombian government and an interpreter that made the ground shift from under Eva's feet.
“They were in Spanish, but I translated them and couldn't believe my eyes when I read one of the paragraphs.” The text briefly outlines the history of Alex's mother. “Suddenly I read that she had a daughter before Alex in a previous relationship. While nothing was ever said to me about that. I immediately realized what that meant and started crying.” The adoption agency had always assured Eva that Alex is an only child. “I was in shock. Alex has a half sister? I could not believe it. The last thing I wanted to do was tear a brother and sister apart.”
As she says this, tears well up in her eyes again. Eva again shows the photo of the woman and the girl standing next to a cake. They are Alex's mother and sister. “The sister who didn't exist,” she sighs. “I also have indications that they lived together for a while and Alex even talks about her, so he knows them well. My biggest fear is that Alex will later blame me for taking him away from his sister. That would be terrible.”
The fact that Alex was presented as an only child is not only emotionally difficult for Eva, it is also a violation of the adoption procedure. In principle, prospective adoptive parents must receive all information about the child they will adopt well in advance. No matters may be left out. And certainly not the existence of a brother or sister. “The official documents that I received in Flanders last year stated in black and white that he has no sisters or brothers. So that is a blatant lie.”
One that the Flemish government could have discovered. Email traffic shows that they already sensed trouble at the Child Care Department in August last year. “They had seen a reference to a sister somewhere in an index card - hidden deep in the text. It even said that he had 'a bond' with it. The official explicitly asked Het Kleine Mirakel if that was correct.” At the adoption agency they formally responded: Alex has no biological brothers or sisters. "A mistake? Or a deliberate lie?”, Eva wonders today.
“Since then, I have made even more discoveries that make me doubt whether my son's file has been compiled in a fair manner.” For example, Eva read that Alex had been cared for in several foster families in Colombia in recent years, while she had been told that he had only known one foster family. “That is not a detail either.” But a statement from Alex's biological mother in particular made her gasp.
“She says that a few years ago - when she had to decide to give Alex up for adoption - she had doubts. She talked to the father about it and asked him not to give up Alex, but he talked her out of it.” According to Eva, that also does not match the story she was told. “I was told that the mother could not or did not want to care for Alex at all. That now also seems at least a distortion of the truth.”
Eva kicks herself for not having noticed something was wrong with the adoption file before. “Because there were already signs that something was wrong. I was told that Alex had been at school for at least two years and was getting 'good results'. When I met him in Colombia, I found that he couldn't even count to five or write his own name. And that for an eight-year-old. A Colombian government worker also said that Alex had been used as a child laborer and that he had experienced violence. That came as a total surprise. I was so shocked that I spontaneously started crying.”
A few weeks before traveling, Eva discovered that Alex was 'offered' on various American adoption websites and Facebook groups. “A practice that I find reprehensible, but which, according to Het Kleine Mirakel, I did not have to worry about. According to them, only children intended for American adoptions appeared there. Not much later I discovered Alex on such a site. I was disappointed and did everything I could to have it removed.”
The many unpleasant surprises and errors in the file make Eva doubt everything at the moment. “What can I still believe about the story that The Little Miracle told me? To what extent has Growing Up checked the file? Did they tear a brother and sister apart? And to what extent was an international adoption really the only option for Alex and his mother? Because his half-sister still lives with her family today. Maybe they wanted that for Alex too? The fact that I have to doubt all those things is terrible. I feel cheated.”
Eva was very angry when she discovered everything. “I immediately filed a complaint with Growing Up because I want answers.” Meanwhile, the adoptive mother is also disappointed with how Flanders organizes adoptions. “I am the first in over six years to adopt from Colombia. My file was important because it had to serve as a test. You would think that everyone would do everything they could to avoid mistakes. I am extremely happy with Alex and love him very much, but the way everything turned out has turned my world upside down. This should never have happened. It is a shame."
Flemish Government and adoption agency: “We are investigating this thoroughly”
Alex's file is extremely sensitive. Both the adoption agency Het Kleine Mirakel and the Flemish government service Growing Up are sparing in their comments. When asked whether they knew that they separated a (half) brother and (half) sister in Colombia by adopting them to Flanders, neither wants to elaborate for the time being.
The agency that organized Alex's adoption also does not want to answer other questions about the mistakes that were allegedly made. “We do not discuss individual file details of an adopted child in the media,” says Lieven Vandendriessche, chairman of the board of directors of Het Kleine Mirakel. “We take Eva's complaint seriously and will provide her with a transparent and professional response.”
Growing up has an almost identical sound. “We take this very seriously,” says Flemish adoption officer Ariane Van den Berghe. “Adoptive parents must be informed in advance as well and completely as possible about the child they will adopt. Eva's complaint is still being investigated and therefore we cannot delve deeper into Alex's file.”
Flemish Minister of Welfare Hilde Crevits (CD&V) says she is aware of Eva's complaint. “I understand that she is concerned. I have asked the complaints department to look into this and keep me informed. Because if adjustments need to be made to the procedures based on this complaint, we will do so.”
Eva adopted Alex (10) from Colombia last year, but now makes a shocking discovery: “I cried when I read it”
Vriendelijke groeten,