He took a puff from the glass pipe - then violent sex followed for 12 hours

23-year-old Patrik Dam was addicted to taking hard drugs and engaging in extreme sex. Now he is warning others.

WARNING: This article contains violent depictions of drug abuse, sex and abuse.

He had the crack pipe in one hand while the other swiped desperately on the phone. For days he had been looking for the next man he could sell himself to and thus get another fix.

It was in those days that 2.5 years of violent abuse of so-called 'chemsex' – i.e. sex on hard drugs – culminated for the then 22-year-old Patrik Dam.

When TV 2 Echo meets him a year later, he finds it difficult to remember the details and what happened on which day, but when you sit across from him, there is no doubt that the period stands as a living nightmare in his memory.

However, he remembers the defining moment clearly. For example when he threatened his parents to kill them. Or when his drug-induced psychosis made him imagine that a zombie was chasing him. Or when he momentarily considered strangling his sex partner.

But otherwise the traumas flow together. He cannot separate the assaults, the overdoses and the psychoses. But it is part of the story if you want to understand chemsex, he says. And it is precisely this understanding that he hopes his story can contribute to.

But first you have to understand how it could go so wrong. Because how does a healthy guy from a nuclear family in Slagelse end up as a self-proclaimed 'sex monster' and drug addict in the closed ward?

Patrik Dam hopes that with his story he can focus on the consequences of chemsex and save others from the abuse. Photo: Magnus Dolling Brunebjerg (TV 2 Echo)

"Bøssen Patrik" in the province

It was certainly not in the cards for Patrik Dam to end up taking crystal meth and "selling his body for drugs" on a daily basis.

It had not always been one long party to be Patrik Dam. He was adopted from the Czech Republic to Denmark, and at school he was teased for playing with Bratz dolls and called a 'gay ass'.

Patrik Dam remembers that already in elementary school he received many negative comments about his sexuality. Photo: Private

- But you can't just lock yourself in your room and sit and think back on your school days. Get over it, as he says.

Curious to explore his sexuality and ready to break out of the province, 17-year-old Patrik Dam therefore packed up the children's room and jumped on the train to Copenhagen.

The limits had been exceeded, and soon it was only going to get wilder

Patrik Dam, former chemsex user

The parties got wilder

When Patrik Dam landed in the capital in 2017, a new and wild world opened up. One big gift stall of dating and partying awakened the hitherto inexperienced teenager who hungered for understanding and togetherness with other gay men.

- The city was finally close, the men on the dating apps were two meters away and the party never stopped. It was really overwhelming, but super fun, he says.

In the beginning, that is.

Shortly after Patrik Dam took over the Copenhagen nightlife, he began experimenting with cocaine, and from there it wasn't far to the harder drugs. Photo: Private

For the first few months, he felt invincible and, for once, brimming with confidence.

But it didn't take long before he also began to perceive some of the men as clingy - and he became aware that for him this particularly applied to those who were influenced by more than a few beers.

Without noticing the slide, Patrik Dam's own limits also moved at that point.

After six months in Copenhagen, he went from never having tried anything other than hashish to sitting in a friend's room and experimenting with the ADHD medication Ritalin.

And then it went strong.

- The limits had been exceeded, and quickly things just had to get wilder with harder drugs such as MDMA, ketamine and ecstasy, he says.

The parties lasted longer, the men became more numerous, and in the middle of it all, sex also became part of his deroute.

In addition to the drugs, he had become addicted to the recognition he felt when under the influence.

And from there it wasn't far to mix parties, sex and hard drugs in one big and explosive combination.

He didn't know it at the time, but that type of abuse covers the phenomenon of chemsex.

Can destroy many lives

The mixture of sex and drugs are not unknown components of nightlife, but chemsex is more than just that. Because when we talk about chemsex, it is not the so-called party drugs such as cocaine and MDMA that are dominant.

Here it is the even more addictive substances such as crystal meth, ketamine and GHB that are on everyone's lips. And several users experience having to get up at night to take the drug because the withdrawals are so intense, explains Morten Hesse, associate professor at Aarhus University's Center for Drug Research.

- A substance like GHB is extra dangerous because it is so difficult to control if you are walking around drunk or in a nightclub and have to dose. You can simply die from those overdoses, he says.

Precisely for this reason, Lars Christian Østergreen, director of the AIDS Foundation, views the phenomenon with great concern.

- There is a lot of chemsex around, which can ruin the lives of an extremely large number of people, he says and continues:

- And in the worst case, we see that people die from it because they cannot control the drugs.

It was just brutal sex for 12 hours

Patrik Dam, former chemsex user

He says that the AIDS Foundation has chemsex "really high" on the agenda. Not least because they are experiencing an increase in people seeking advice from their experts with problems associated with chemsex.

The waiting lists for treatment are growing, and in the meantime many young people risk overdoses, rape attempts and cross-border sex, but also losing their jobs, friends and housing to the drugs, says the appeal from the AIDS Foundation.

Brutal sex for 12 hours

The first time Patrik Dam participated in chemsex, he wasn't even aware of it.

It was at the sex club Amigo Sauna in the center of Copenhagen and just half a year after he had first experimented with the ADHD medication in his friend's room.

The place, which is one of Copenhagen's largest sauna and sex clubs, contains everything from a sauna, bar areas to dedicated sex rooms, or "bollerum", as Patrik Dam calls it.

And it was in one such that he first lost control completely.

He was drunk and under the influence of both cocaine and ecstasy when he met a guy who he went into a 'ball room' to have sex with.

Normally, condoms, shots and drugs were passed around between Patrik Dam and his friends, so he didn't jump over when the guy suddenly handed him a small glass pipe.

Then it was suddenly rude to receive your partner's urine in the seagull

Patrik Dam, former chemsex user

- I had never tried to smoke something like that before, so I just thought it was hashish.

- But after two puffs, I knew very well that it wasn't, he explains about his first experience with the substance crystal meth.

In that moment, sex changed forever for Patrik Dam:

- I have never had sex for so many hours, so extreme and so wild, as I had that night.

- It was just brutal sex for 12 hours and then I thought: "Okay, this is something I like". It's delicious and brings out something good in me that I haven't tried before, he says.

Patrik Dam ends up driving to everything from Køge to Nordsjælland and Valby for drugs and sex, when things are at their worst. Photo: Private

Fetiches, which Patrik Dam used to be ashamed of, were much easier to try on crystal meth and later on the drug GHB.

- Then it was suddenly rude to receive my partner's urine in the seagull, because his urine contained crystal meth, and then I got even higher.

At the time, he could not feel how transgressive and unpleasant that feeling really was for him too.

Because at the same time as he threw away his inhibitions, he was taken over by an all-consuming addiction.

A sex monster

The episode was the start of 2.5 years of gigantic decline for Patrik Dam.

It started with smaller things. He showed up for his waiter job under the influence and way too late. He lost contact with his family at times. The friends fell away. He lost his grip on everything that used to make up his everyday life.

Meanwhile, the part of him that he describes today as a 'crackhead sex monster' took over. During periods when he was homeless, he primarily stayed at the city's sex clubs, and sex developed into what he now calls outright assault.

He doesn't remember when it happened, but by the end he felt like a sex-crazed, bland and uncaring zombie.

He started selling his body for drugs, had psychoses more often and lost control of his own actions.

He remembers glimpses of an episode where, during a sex game, he considered suffocating his partner with a plastic bag.

Only at the last moment did he let go.

- It's absolutely horrible to think about today, says Patrik Dam.

But he had to go even further before he really broke.

A trip on the closed

It happened in June 2022. After months in which Patrik Dam does not remember being sober, he was so psychotic and had so much anxiety that he could no longer continue in the rut he had ended up in.

But he had no idea how to get out of it either.

In a haze of drugs and desperation, he took the train home to Slagelse. At the time, he had no idea himself how badly dressed he appeared.

I had reached a point where I just wanted to fucking live instead of survive

Patrik Dam, former chemsex addict

But he almost didn't make it to the door at home before his parents stepped inside.

They drove him directly to Slagelse Hospital, where he was admitted to the closed psychiatric ward.

- If that hadn't happened, I would probably be dead. I had given up, he says.

But Patrik Dam is still here.

Started in 24-hour treatment

On December 24 this year, Patrik Dam and the family will not only celebrate Christmas.

Patrik Dam can also celebrate the anniversary of when he last smoked crystal meth and thus laid the foundation for getting out of his addiction to chemsex.

- Then I have to give a speech and pat myself on the back. I am so proud of myself, he says.

Because after Christmas last year he started in-patient treatment.

Patrik Dam today with a drink in hand and in the company of friends. By telling his story, he hopes others will stay away from chemsex. Photo: Private photo

For three months he lived in a 24-hour treatment home, where he was detoxified, helped to get rid of the drugs and psychological support for his trauma.

- I had reached a point where I just fucking wanted to live instead of survive, he says.

Dreaming of an expensive bottle of red wine

Today, Patrik Dam wakes up in his own apartment at 5.30, eats two soft-boiled eggs, a craftsman and jumps on the train from Odense to Valby, where he is in the process of training as a waiter.

Like any other 23-year-old, he sits in cafes and does assignments, meets his friends for a cup of coffee, and then, admittedly, he is still ready for a good party, he says with a smile.

But now he no longer fantasizes about crystal meth, GHB and sex orgies with strangers.

- Now the dream is to earn enough money to be able to go to a fancy restaurant, buy two bottles of good red wine, finish with a delicious cheese board and then go to a mega delicious cocktail bar.

- It seems like the good life to me now, concludes Patrik Dam.

TV 2 Echo has tried several times to get in touch with Amigo Sauna to present Patrik Dam's experiences to them. They have not returned.