Lotte and Morten have been waiting for years to adopt a child: "It was our only option"

The news of a final stop to international adoptions has hit many hard.

A dream has been shattered for a family in Ågerup in Roskilde.

Lotte and Morten Skov Christensen have been waiting for five years to register as applicants for international adoption. 

But on Tuesday, the news came that DIA, the country's only mediator of international adoptions, has turned the key. This has happened following a series of sanctions from the Danish Appeals Agency and the Ministry of Social Affairs, Housing and the Elderly.

- We are very affected by it right now. I started to cry when I read the news, says Lotte Skov Christensen and continues: 

- It was our only option, we have been counting on for a long time.

Lotte Skov Christensen had her uterus removed due to cancer and cannot give birth to her own children. Adoption is therefore the only way they can fulfill their desire to become parents legally.

Had to quickly think of alternatives

It was back in 2018 that Lotte Skov Christensen was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She had met her current husband three months before. 

 In the midst of falling in love, the couple suddenly had to deal with chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

- It was a pretty hectic time. We got to put life and our future into perspective. I think Lotte was absolutely fantastic and I wanted her to be the mother of my children, says Morten Skov Christensen. 

Therefore, it was also a hard blow when the doctors decided that the best option for Lotte was to remove her abdomen. At that time she was 30 years old.

- I was sitting in my parents' garden when I got the call that the tumor was so big that the best thing would be to remove my uterus, says Lotte Skov Christensen and continues: 

- We just had to do that. I knew otherwise it would cost me my life. 

My stepfather is adopted from Korea, so my two sisters are half Korean. So we really wanted to adopt a child who could be reflected in the immediate family

Lotte Skov Christensen

The new situation meant saying goodbye to the dream of becoming parents in a normal way. And quite quickly the couple began to look at the possibility of adopting. 

Back then, you could be on a waiting list for either national or international adoption, according to the couple, and here the choice fell on international adoption. 

- My stepfather was adopted from Korea, so my two sisters are half-Korean. So we really wanted to adopt a child who could be reflected in the immediate family - and had talked a lot about a child from Taiwan, says Lotte Skov Christensen. 
 

- My parents' best friends have also adopted from Colombia, so I have also known about it all my life. That's why I thought we could do that, says Morten Skov Christensen.

In recent years, there have been many negative stories about international adoption. Was that part of your considerations?

- We don't want to take a child from another family. So of course the hinterland must be one hundred percent in order. But we counted on DIA to be able to ensure that - partly because we could see that in the five years we looked at alone, the number of countries had gone from 11 to five, says Lotte Skov Christensen.

Five years of waiting

But they were also well aware that a long application and approval process lay ahead. 

The first - and biggest - challenge was that Lotte Skov Christensen had to be declared cancer-free for five years. Therefore, the countdown began to October 2023, when they would round that milestone.

- It really filled the first two years. After all, we are at an age where everyone around us is having children and asking about our plans. But we knew we had to wait for five years before we could even begin the process, so we also had to take a break from it, because it was extremely tiring to be in, says Morten Skov Christensen. 

- We also had to tell our surroundings to take a step back, says Lotte Skov Christensen. 

But even if they tried to put their thoughts on hold, they also used the time wisely. They quickly began looking at ways to improve their chances of adoption.

For example, it was a requirement that you had been married for 2.5 years in several of the approved countries. So quite quickly they got married, as well as moving in together. And last year they bought a larger home in Ågerup in Roskilde. 

- It is a small local community where we could see some good frameworks for creating a family, says Lotte Skov Christensen. 

Ready to push the button

In October 2023, Lotte Skov Christensen got her last CT scan and a stamp from the doctor that she is healthy. This allowed the application process to begin. 

- We had actually been ready for five years. But we agreed to just get December and Christmas over before we wanted to start, says Lotte Skov Christensen. 

- We knew we had to put a lot of energy into it. So we wanted to be mentally ready, and made the decision to get started first thing in the new year. 

So when DIA, at an extraordinary board meeting, decided to shut itself down earlier this week, it brought the couple's long-awaited plan to an abrupt end. 

Until Monday, DIA brokered adoptions from the Philippines, India, Thailand, Taiwan and the Czech Republic. In December, South Africa was also on the list, but on December 14 the Danish Appeals Board notified the agency that it was immediately suspending its cooperation with the South African organization Impilo.

This was, among other things, due to a number of consultation responses from DIA, which have created doubts as to whether DIA's dissemination work in South Africa is in accordance with Danish and international regulations in the area, writes TV 2.

Our dream of becoming parents is so big that we can do nothing but think of alternatives

Morten Skov Christensen

And against that background, Denmark's only mediator of international adoptions decided to turn the key. 

- We are both very sad and frustrated. So what can we do now, says Morten Skov Christensen and continues:

- But our dream of becoming parents is so great that we can do nothing but think of alternatives. 

Considers everything

Right now the plan is to sign up for national adoption. In the past ten years, between six and 40 Danish children have been adopted out per year, but with far more on the waiting list. 

In December 2023, 60 families were on the waiting list to adopt, and Lotte and Morten Skov Christensen only expect the number to increase in the next few years with the news of DIA's closure. 

Therefore, surrogacy, i.e. having a child through a surrogate mother, is also something the couple has talked about a lot this week. Even if it is illegal in Denmark.

- We have looked at it in Europe, but it is just rather dodgy. We are pretty much inside the rules in this area, and it's just risky. We would prefer to do it the legal way, says Morten Skov Christensen. 

The feeling of injustice

Even though their five-year plan has been shattered, the couple is not giving up on the dream. They want to have a child, and they have no doubt that it will probably work out for them. 

The only question is when. 

- We have so much love that we can pour out and give to a child. We want to be something for someone, says Lotte Skov Christensen. 

There is also great hope for a political solution:

- We hope that someone intervenes and can change something after this has happened. Does this closure mean that something is being pushed in society. Will another agency be able to take over international adoptions? Or, in the long term, will it be moved more by the law for foster care, says Morten Skov Christensen.