Was a Korean baby brought illegally to Belgium immediately after birth? Mother begs for help: “I've been looking for him for 37 years”
Not knowing where your child is. For Yoo-hee (69), this has been the nightmare she has been living in for almost forty years. In 1987, she gave birth to a cloud of a baby in South Korea, but before she could hold it once, her son was taken away. “Against my will,” the mother testifies. An adoption service brought him to Belgium and since then there has been no trace. The Korean woman tells her story for the first time. Desperate, she begs: “I want to be able to hug my son just once before I die.”
Jeroen Bossaert 27-06-24, 06:00
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“I'm someone who rarely cries, but when I think about my son or talk about him, I can't help it.” Yoo-hee (*) wipes the tears from her eyes. We've been talking about her missing son for half an hour and she's acting remarkably brave. But when we ask what she would like to say to her son if he read this article, she breaks down. Yoo-hee sighs and turns to the child she carried in her belly for nine months, but never saw again. “Sorry,” she murmurs, crying. “I'm sorry this happened. I would do anything to see you. To be able to hold you and hug you. Again. Then I could die peacefully.”
NIGHTMARE
The nightmare Yoo-hee finds himself in started almost 37 years ago in Daegu. In that city in the south of South Korea - where more than two million people live - she was driven into a maternity hospital on August 25, 1987, puffing and sweating. Her contractions have started and her son is getting ready to come into the world. While in severe pain, she grabs her husband and asks him if they can go to another hospital. Yoo-hee realizes that her husband has not taken her to a traditional 'motherhouse', but to a private institution where women come to give birth and then give their child up for adoption. “I didn't want that,” she says firmly today. But her husband does not listen to this during the birth. He refuses to take his wife to another hospital.
-Yoo-hee
During the birth I told the midwife and doctor that I did not want my baby to be taken away, but no one listened
“My husband had decided in advance that I could not take care of the child.” In 1987, Yoo-hee struggles with mental and physical problems and is so weak that her husband hesitates. They already have three children, two girls and a boy, and he fears that a fourth would be too much. The man decides before birth that the child would be better off with other people. “There was no discussion possible and I could not argue much against it, because I was extremely weakened by my condition,” the woman says quietly. She feels guilty.
“My husband was a good-for-nothing,” she hisses angrily. “I suggested that we put our son with my brother-in-law for a few years until I got better, but that wasn't possible either.” Her son had to be given up for adoption. “I told the midwife and doctor during the birth that I didn't want that, but no one listened.”
Yoo-hee received some photos of her baby in the late 1980s, perhaps taken in Belgium. © RVYoo-hee received some photos of her baby in the late 1980s, probably taken in Belgium.
Immediately after delivery, nurses remove the baby. “I didn't even get to see him or hug him.” Yoo-hee's husband signs the adoption papers unilaterally, casting doubt on the legality of the adoption. In the 1980s, however, people did not question this. The newborn boy quickly enters the adoption system. His mother is a mental and physical wreck after giving birth. “I stayed in bed for weeks.” She doesn't get any information about her son from anyone.
In the 1970s and 1980s, tens of thousands of Korean children were offered to adoption services in the West - often without the consent of both parents. Yoo-hee's son also ends up in a catalogue
“People around me tried to reassure me. They said I would see my son again when he turned eighteen. That is what many people in South Korea thought about adoptions at the time.” They are lies to appease people. Because in reality, in the 1970s and 1980s, tens of thousands of Korean children were offered to adoption services in the West - often without the consent of both parents. Yoo-hee's son also ends up in a catalogue.
TO BELGIUM
At the end of 1987, everything was prepared at the office of the Korea Social Welfare Association (KSWA) in Daegu to send the baby to the other side of the world. Even if the mother doesn't want that. When Yoo-hee regains some strength a few months later, she moves to the station. “I wanted to see my son.” That doesn't work, because he is no longer in the country at that time. “All they could tell me is that he had been sent to Belgium.” Since then, Yoo-hee has had no trace of her son. “After a few years I did receive a few photos, which were most likely taken in Belgium. With the adoptive parents.” It's the only straw she has.
Yoo-hee (69) poses in the streets of Seoul, the capital of South Korea. She has been looking for her son for 37 years, who was brought to Belgium for adoption against her will in 1987. © rvYoo-hee (69) poses in the streets of Seoul, the capital of South Korea. She has been looking for her son for 37 years, who was brought to Belgium for adoption against her will in 1987.
Today the woman still does not know where her son ended up. She has hardly received any help in her search for 37 years. “I went to the Belgian embassy in Seoul several times, but no one could help me there,” she sighs. “No one at the adoption agency wanted to provide any information either. Officially they were not allowed to do that, they said. I also wrote a letter to the adoptive parents. They supposedly sent it, but it never arrived.”
NO RIGHTS
In South Korea – and in many other countries – you no longer have any rights as a biological parent once your child has been adopted. For example, Yoo-hee doesn't even know her son's name today. After giving birth, she named him Jun-soo, but there is a real chance that name was changed. It makes the search even more difficult. Yet she doesn't give up.
-Belgian adoption agency that may have Yoo-hee's file
With the help of the NGO CAFE, a European interest group for adult adoptees, Yoo-hee recently found out that her son was most likely brought to Belgium via Adoption Network Flanders or via Enfants du Monde. “Those were the only two Belgian agencies that collaborated with KSWA in the late 1980s,” says Yung Fierens of CAFE. “The problem is that the Flanders Adoption Network has not existed since the 1990s.” The archives were said to have been transferred to Enfants du Monde in Liège.
That organization still exists today, but under the name Sourires d'Enfants-Larisa. “We cannot simply access our archives at the simple request of the biological mother,” the agency said. “She has to submit a question in South Korea to KSWA and only when we receive the question from them can we possibly help.”
Yoo-hee received some photos of her baby in the late 1980s, perhaps taken in Belgium. © RVYoo-hee received some photos of her baby in the late 1980s, probably taken in Belgium.
Yoo-hee has been sent from pillar to post in recent years and no longer believes that the adoption agencies involved will help her. She is at her wits' end. “That's why I tell my story in the Belgian press and share his baby photos. I hope that I can get closer to my son in this way.” She emphasizes that she does not blame the adoptive parents. “In my letter that I wanted to have delivered to them, I thanked them extensively for their care for my son. I even realize that I can't actually call him 'my' son. They raised him.”
PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSISTANCE
According to Yung Fierens of CAFE, the shock can be great for everyone involved, not least for the adopted Korean man. “We therefore offer free psychological assistance. We also recommend that people with tips contact us. We have experience in guiding adult adoptees.”
-Yoo-hee
Yoo-hee fervently hopes that her testimony will move something. And that she can see Jun-soo before she dies. “I would like to show him South Korea. Introducing him to his brother and sisters. Or simply talk to him. Eating something together. Give a hug. Say how sorry I am. And how much I love him.”
(*) The mother's name has been changed for privacy reasons.
Do you have any tips that can help in the search for Jun-soo, Yoo-hee's son? Then you can email yung@cafe.be and you will be directed to the NGO CAFE . All reports are handled discreetly.
WHAT CAN OUR GOVERNMENT DO FOR YOO-HEE?
Flemish Minister of Welfare Hilde Crevits (CD&V) has announced that the Flemish Center for Adoption (VCA) can support Yoo-hee in the search. “During an individual contact, she can be examined to clarify her questions. The VCA also has various partners who can retrieve information.” Crevits' colleague on the French-speaking side, Minister Françoise Bertieaux (MR), also states that the Walloon-Brussels adoption agency can collect information. At the FPS Foreign Affairs they are still looking at the options available to help.