Annemieke Figge - Hair is more than hair

When I told my half-African sister-in-law that we wanted to adopt a child from South Africa, she said to me: “You have to promise me one thing: that you will take good care of your children's hair and not neglect it like all those white mothers with dark hair. children do!”. I hadn't thought about that at all until that moment. I solemnly promised her.

When I told my half-African sister-in-law that we wanted to adopt a child from South Africa, she said to me: “You have to promise me one thing: that you will take good care of your children's hair and not neglect it like all those white mothers with dark hair. children do!”. I hadn't thought about that at all until that moment. I solemnly promised her.

And then she was there: our beautiful daughter Anna. Born with a head full of hair. No bald spots, nothing. A beautiful full afro. The social worker in South Africa said we would have our hands full with the hair. She spoke from experience because she had just as thick a head of frizzy hair as Anna.

As I promised, I combed and conditioned the hair every day. The book 'Kinki Kreations' was my hair bible for a year. It taught me the do's and don'ts of afro hair and I learned how to make my first twists through the book. So far so good.....

Until Anna turned 2 and became more self-aware. She looked around her on the street and at the daycare center and came to the inevitable conclusion that she was different from most. That the blonde girls could wave their hair. That they could put in 1 tail with ease. And not Anna. She sat in front of the mirror a few times, crying and pulling her hair. Wishing she was different...

An afro was no longer allowed. That was the stupidest haircut of all time. So I learned to braid, braid and eventually even apply extensions. To make her self-image more positive. And it worked! It became a kind of hobby to keep trying new things. Hours of braiding every month. Practice makes perfect. It's looking better and better. Moreover, it is a wonderful mother-daughter moment. In the meantime, Anna 'orders' her haircuts. She gets angry if I don't do it the way she planned. In recent years she has almost always sat happily in front of the mirror....

And that Afro? She always thought that was stupid. The children in her class didn't help either. The times she came into class with an afro, children said: “Huh?! What did you do to your hair?! How crazy."

Until yesterday. I had taken out her braids, washed and combed her hair, and then Anna said: “Oh, I like this!”. I asked her if she wanted to do it the same way the next day at school. To my surprise, she happily agreed. The next morning she became nervous: “I don't want all the children to start talking about it again.” I said to her: “You know Anna, you will always look different from others. Whether you like it or not. You can't change that. Fortunately, you are the most beautiful. Do you think your hair is beautiful?” The convincing answer was 'yes'. She decided that was the most important thing. And she came home happy! Despite the fact that a white boy told another brown girl with an afro that her hair looked like broccoli. Hopefully the first steps towards a healthy self-image have been taken. And that was exactly what my sister-in-law had in mind when she made me make my promise. I am a happy person 🙂

At Mireille's request, I will show Anna a new hairstyle every month. And of course I will tell you how I made and cared for it. And uhh...I'm open to feedback and tips! I comb this afro completely every day using the tangle teaser and no more knots from kroeshaar.com. I also add some shea butter.

Tip for other novice mothers: never let your child walk with loose hair for more than a week. It dries very quickly, causing it to break off. Moreover, it requires a lot of care: you have to comb it every day to keep it beautiful. If you have no experience with other hairstyles, start with twists. You can find a good demo of this on Kroeshaar instructional videos. If the hair is twisted or braided, it remains much nicer and softer and is less likely to break. This makes it grow easier and more evenly.