Thousands of women were forced to give up their children in the 1960s and 1970s
In the sixties and seventies, getting pregnant without being married was a big taboo in the Netherlands. Thousands of girls and young women therefore kept their pregnancies secret and gave birth to their child in isolation. Many of them were then forced by social pressure and circumstances to give up their baby.
The children ended up in homes or special children's departments, such as the Midwifery School in Heerlen. They were then adopted by parents who had often been waiting for a child for a long time. Although people thought adoption was a good idea at the time, it turns out that the impact of the events continues to have a long-lasting effect, both on the mothers and the adopted children and on the adoptive parents.
The four-part television series Dossier Afgestaan brings together the personal stories of birth mothers, adopted children, adoptive parents and care providers.
In the series, various women talk about their experiences with unwanted pregnancies at a young age. Their babies were sometimes taken away immediately after birth, and they themselves had to continue with their lives as if nothing had happened. After a few days, for example, they went back to school or training and hardly anyone knew that they had become mothers. "When I came home from Moederheil, my father literally said: it is not talked about anymore," says a certain Cecilia.
Unsafe situation
Prospective parents had to work their way through long waiting lists and the criteria could vary considerably from region to region. The adoption procedure would often not have gone smoothly either. For example, Jessica tells in the series how she was given to an unsuitable couple as a child. Her file then went missing and no one realized that she had ended up in an unsafe situation.
Two adoptees who did have a happy childhood, Marco and Pamela, also felt the need to find out more about their origins later in life. According to him, the files of the Child Protection Council that could help with this are sometimes full of prejudices.
Dossier Afgestaan is directed by Femke Veltman and Annegriet Wietsma and can be seen weekly from Saturday 16 November on NPO 2 (22:10, NTR).
Information about the four episodes:
Episode 1 The Great Secret
Unmarried pregnant girls and women are hidden from the outside world. Cecilia is sent to her sister in England and later to Moederheil in Breda. There she is not allowed to stand in front of the windows for fear that she will be recognized. Mieke, who is studying in Amsterdam, finds a shelter on the Veluwe. And 15-year-old Agnes gives birth under a false name and in a separate delivery room in the hospital.
There is also a special room for unmarried girls in the former Midwifery School in Heerlen. “That was room 37 in the attic,” say student midwives from back then, “they were actually hidden away.” The decision has already been made – often under pressure from parents or caregivers – that the mothers will give up their child for adoption after birth. To prevent a bond from developing, the baby is kept out of sight during the birth and then taken to a separate department as soon as possible. “I don’t know if she had hair, I only know it was a girl,” says Cecilia. Almost immediately after the birth, the mothers return to their school or training. The child is no longer allowed to be discussed.
Episode 2 False start
While awaiting their adoption, the babies of the birth mothers are placed in homes or special children's wards. For example, Annemarie, Ingrid and Leon spend their first days of life at the Midwifery School in Heerlen. Annemarie is adopted after just eleven days, by a family that has just lost a child of their own. Ingrid's adoptive parents are allowed to come and pick out a child. She ends up – eleven months old – with a couple who abuse her. Leon is adopted after ten months in Heerlen by a loving couple from Emmen. No matter how different their childhoods in the adoptive family are, all three of them suffer from the fact that they were given up, do not know how their stay as babies at the Midwifery School went and have minimal or no contact with their biological parent(s). "I am here, but I am not allowed to be here," says Annemarie.
Episode 3 The New Family
Couples who want to adopt a child are screened by employees of the Child Protection Board. In the 1960s and 1970s, it is a nerve-wracking procedure because the waiting lists for adoptive parents are long and the criteria can differ per region. Jantina and her husband are overjoyed when, after several conversations, they can finally start a happy family with four children from birth mothers.
Ingrid and her husband also pass the test and adopt three children. But the adoption does not always go according to plan, as the stories show. Jessica is given to an unscreened couple by an employee of the Paula Foundation, her file gets lost and no one realizes that she is in an unsafe situation. Monique is surprised by the fact that she could not grow up with her grandmother. And the adoptive parents of Marieke and Janneke find a back door to get much-desired children via a pastor.
Episode 4 The search
Marco and Pamela had a happy childhood. However, like many adopted children, they felt the need to get to know their biological parents later in life. They managed to make contact, which answered many questions about their origins and the reason they were given up. This search for their own roots is not always easy. Eugénie Smits van Waesberghe, a child given up herself, collected stories about domestic adoptions. According to her, the entire system was focused on secrecy: “No one was allowed to find anyone anymore… As a result, there are thousands of children who still cannot trace where they have actually been and who their parents were.”
The files of the Child Protection Board sometimes provide clarity but can also confirm stigmas. Loes, from the DNA Foundation for Birth Mothers, read her file with indignation: “It portrays a mother who is very antisocial and unstable in life. Not worth a dime”. After decades of secrecy, shame and stigmatisation, it is often difficult for birth mothers to be open.Episode text: NTR