"Ray of Hope cheated us"

Dozens of adoptive parents have stood up for Ray of Hope, the adoption service that has been suspended by Minister Vogels, in recent days. The parents of Ethiopian adopted children in particular praised the smooth handling of their file and the openness of Ray of Hope. But there are also parents who are not happy about the "unacceptable incompetence" of Ray of Hope. This is evident from the story of three couples who were promised a child from South Vietnam.

by Geert NEYT

Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 04:30

"We had placed our trust in an organised adoption service because we did not want to adopt freely. But Ray of Hope put us on a plane to a foreign country and left us to our own devices." The anger of Danny and Nathalie Noels from Geraardsbergen, Bernard and Hilda Deckers from Vlezenbeek and Wim and Katleen Cornilly from Pittem has not cooled down after a year and a half. Their experiences were just one of the many elements that prompted Kind en Gezin and Minister Vogels to withdraw the recognition of Ray of Hope.

"It was only later that we found out that we

trial files

of Ray of Hope. Little did we know that the adoption agency had launched a new channel without any preliminary research, which was bound to cause everything to go wrong. Incidentally, they receive subsidies for such preliminary research.''

"They made the mistake of thinking that because they were already active in North Vietnam, everything would work the same way in the south of the country. But that is not the case."

"South Vietnam requires the parents to travel to their country twice. The first time to personally deliver the necessary documents, the second time to pick up the child. Ray of Hope assured us that this was not necessary. Their contact person would arrange it."

"But that man turned out to have no experience with adoption and only spoke Vietnamese. He was also not chosen by Ray of Hope himself, but was a 'friend' of their North Vietnamese contact person. So he was of no use to us."

Everyone is a different child

Even before the three couples, together with three other Flemish adoption couples, travelled to South Vietnam, things had already gone wrong. "The waiting period was extended several times due to the fault of the incompetent contact person, until we were eventually sick from the stress. The social reports of the children assigned to us -- in which the child's past is highlighted -- turned out to be exact copies of each other."

"Several months after we had received a photo of our child, Ray of Hope had had enough and suggested giving us all another child. That's terrible, because you've been building a bond with the child in the photo for so long. That's when we decided for ourselves:

This is our child and we will fight for this child

.''

After nine months of delay and uncertainty, the parents were finally able to fly to South Vietnam thanks to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. "That moment when you hold your adopted child in your arms for the first time is just as intense as a birth. But we couldn't enjoy it for long, because the next day we were told that crucial documents in the adoption file were missing or not in order."

"That moment when you hold your adopted child in your arms for the first time is just as intense as a birth."

"We also did not receive a medical file for the children from Ray of Hope. The babies could just as easily have been infected with HIV. When we called Ray of Hope, they sounded nonchalant: we are in Belgium and cannot help you."

"We then sent a distress call to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in an internet café. Those people contacted our ambassador in North Vietnam, who arranged everything for us for three weeks. Without them, our children would not be here now."

Once they got home with the children, the three couples decided to file a complaint with Child and Family "because we did not want parents after us to go through the same ordeal."

Too much hay on the fork

In the meantime, Wim and Katleen Cornilly have brought a second child to South Vietnam, this time via free adoption with a preliminary approval from Kind en Gezin. "That went very smoothly, so that the stay even seemed like a pleasant holiday. And no, we did not have to give any South Vietnamese bribes. Everything there is even strictly according to the book. But if you do not know the rules, things go wrong."

The three couples accuse Ray of Hope of wanting to bite off more than he can chew. "With three employees, you can't follow up a hundred ongoing files properly. Look, prospective adoptive parents have to be almost perfect to get through the selection. Then you can also ask that the adoption services themselves are a bit professional, right?"

After the unfortunate experiment with the six adoptive couples, Ray of Hope cancelled all activities in South Vietnam.