Researcher: - Adopted children must be heard in visitation cases

According to childhood researcher Sarah Alminde, adopted children can benefit from spending time with their biological family, but they must be able to decide for themselves.

- Poor adoptive parents... what a nightmare to go through.

- I would have done the same thing, fought tooth and nail.

- Where is the child's best interests?

“You have to ensure that adopters have the best support system”

— Sarah Alminde, postdoc at Roskilde University and researcher in children's perspectives

These are some of the hundreds of Facebook comments that have come under fire on TV2 ØST's stories about Danish adoptions.

Here, several adoptive parents from Zealand say that they have ended up in lawsuits against their children's biological parents because the biological parents want to have contact with the children.

If you ask Sarah Alminde, who is a postdoc at Roskilde University and researches children's perspectives, you cannot generally say whether contact with the biological parents is in the child's best interests or not.

Sarah Alminde, a researcher in children's perspectives, believes it is necessary to involve children when assessing access.

- We know that it is of great importance for many children to know about their biological origins and perhaps also for some children to have some form of contact with it, she says and continues:

- But we can't say that it's like that for everyone, because there will also be someone for whom it will be harmful or something that they don't want to be part of their lives.

The child must be heard.

Therefore, according to Sarah Alminde, you need to involve the children as best you can when assessing whether there should be contact or not.

- You either have to ask the child yourself or try to put yourself in the child's shoes and consider all the complex nuances that will be present in the specific case, she says.

The same message comes from the association De Anbragtes Vilkår, which works for improved conditions for former and current detainees.

- It is absolutely crucial that we talk to the children involved and hear from them what they want and what relationships they would like to keep in their lives, says Fransiska Mannerup, who is the chairwoman of De Anbragtes Vilkår.

Children express themselves with more than language

A year ago, the Children's Act came into force, and it means that children from the age of 10 must be heard in cases that concern them. For example, in visitation cases.

- The Children's Law is a good example of trying to incorporate a child perspective that positions children as someone who is important, significant and has rights, says Sarah Alminde.

But according to her, one should also try to listen to children who are younger than that.

- We have a notion that listening is about hearing spoken language. But we can understand listening much more broadly. Children express their perspective in all sorts of ways. Also non-verbally, says Sarah Alminde and continues:

- You can observe this and include it in your assessment of the child's perspective, and then you can try to put yourself in the child's shoes and look at what kind of situation and context the child is a part of.

At De Anbragtes Vilkår, they share the same opinion.

- Even with very young children, it is important to try to involve them and listen to their own wishes. Even in relation to a child who does not yet have language, you can look for signals and sense the child's interests and attachment - or the opposite, says Fransiska Mannerup.

Adoptive father: Visitation is not in our son's best interest

Lasse and Oliver are one of the four adoptive families that TV2 ØST has spoken to about the challenges of Danish adoptions.

They adopted their son in 2020 when he was just seven months old. Since then, they have been through several lawsuits because their son's one biological parent wants visitation.

Lasse and Oliver themselves highlight the child's best interests as the entire reason why they have opposed the desire for contact.

Lasse and Oliver believe that their son is too young to be able to spend time with his biological parents.

- It's simply to protect him, his mind and his emotions, because there are many things he has to deal with, says Oliver.

- We can't see that he would get anything out of spending time with his biological parents, whom he hasn't seen since he was a few months old. It would only be in the best interests of his biological parents, not his, says Lasse.

Lasse and Oliver are fictitious names, as the couple wishes to remain anonymous for the sake of their son. TV2 ØST knows the couple's identity.

However, they do not rule out that there may be visitation later, but according to them, it should only be if their son wants it.

- The older he is, the more he can understand, and the more he can be involved in it and have the opportunity to say no, thank you, or yes, I would like that, says Oliver.

Visitation cases come as a surprise to adoptive parents

As TV2 ØST has previously reported, the adoptive parents are surprised that they, as parents, cannot decide whether there should be contact or not, but that this must be decided in the legal system.

This applies, among others, to Julie, who adopted her son in 2023 .

- I've received such a nice adoption certificate with a royal crown on it and everything, where it says that I am now a legal parent. That's why I assume that I can choose whether there should be contact or not, she says and continues:

- I simply took that for granted. I've also never heard of cases where you had to go to court regarding visitation.

Julie is a fictitious name as she wishes to remain anonymous for the sake of her son. TV2 ØST knows her identity.

How the trials went

In Oliver and Lasse's case, the court has twice ruled that there should be no contact between their son and the biological parent. The couple has entered into an agreement to send a letter from the son to the biological parent once a year.

In Julie's case, the district court has ruled that there must be supervised contact between her son and one of the biological parents once a year. In addition, Julie must also send an annual status report, photos and video of her son to the biological parent.

Neither Julie, Oliver, nor Lasse believe they were adequately prepared for the potential lawsuits in the adoption preparation courses. And they feel they were abandoned by the system as soon as the adoptions went through.

- The system gives us an expectation that we can contact them and get help. A guideline for how we should behave. But that doesn't happen, and we don't get that, says Lasse.

Proposes more support for adoptive parents

Sarah Alminde understands the frustration of adoptive parents.

- You have to ensure that the adopters have the best support system, because that is also a way to ensure the child's best interests. So when the adoptive parents do not feel that they have been given any other prospects, then there is definitely something that can be done better, she says.

According to Sarah Alminde, prospective adoptive parents should be better informed about potential visitation cases in the future. And parents who have already adopted should receive more support in handling the visitation issue, she believes.

- I think they should have some of the same opportunities for support, encouragement and upskilling that foster families have, she says and continues:

- Rather than thinking that now they have taken over custody, and then they are left to their own devices.

In December, Minister of Social Affairs Sofie Hæstorp Andersen told TV2 ØST that she will follow up on the practice of the Danish Social Appeals Board and the Family Court in the area of ​​adoption. You can read the interview here .