Adoption is the greatest gift a parent can give a child in need

When adoptees are placed in the right home, they are given chances they might never have had

I never understood adoption jokes growing up. As an adoptee, I could not grasp what was wrong with being adopted. To me, being adopted meant that I had a loving family who wanted me and loved me just the same as any biological child.

It was not until much later that I understood why adoption jokes were made: they only focused on the negative side of adoption. People focus on the implication that you were not wanted or are not related to your adoptive parents, both of which I see as largely inconsequential and not entirely true.

Yes, our biological parent(s) gave us up for adoption. Yes, we are not biologically related to our adoptive parents. But neither of those facts makes adoptive families less of a family.

These implications were personal for me, as my biological mother, Irma, gave me up for adoption because she was a pregnant, unwed woman in predominantly Catholic Guatemala. This, coupled with the fact that she was working to support herself most of the time, meant that she could not raise me and was ostracized by her family due to my very existence. She realized that giving me up for adoption would likely give me the very best chance at a good life, so she made an act of love, however painful it might have been.

Her choice was not unique, though. Every year, the biological parents of the nearly 260,000 children worldwide who are adopted make the same difficult decision, recognizing that adoption can open doors their children might otherwise never walk through.

Adoption can completely change a life. Children, especially young children, are more likely to experience stability, permanency and better educational and health outcomes than those who remain in foster care or institutional systems.

Many prospective adoptive parents are screened by agencies to ensure that they are financially stable, ensuring that the children they adopt often go on to have significant advantages in childhood. A 2007 study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that adoptees are more likely to have certain positive experiences than non-adoptees.

These experiences include participating in extracurricular activities (85 percent as opposed to 81 percent), being sung to or told stories (73 percent to 59 percent) and eating meals with their families six or seven days a week (56 percent to 52 percent). These may seem like small things, but they add up to a childhood filled with stability, bonding and opportunity. Adoptees also tend to have better healthcare and health insurance, live in nicer, safer communities with more amenities and generally have more stable home lives. These benefits are not abstract; they are the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

The contrast becomes stark when looking at children who remain in foster care. At any given time, over 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for adoption. Children and young adults in the foster care system face some of the highest rates of abuse, neglect and emotional and physical health issues.

If they age out of the system, as many as 19 percent experience homelessness between ages 17 and 19 and 26 percent between ages 19 and 21. About 14 percent of those between 19 and 21 were incarcerated and only 57 percent reported being employed at age 21.

Adoption is not a cure-all, but it can break the cycle that tens of thousands of children live every single year. It gives a child the foundation they need to thrive.

But adoption is not a fairy tale either. Alongside the opportunities come real challenges that adoptive families must be prepared to face.

Because my adoption was a closed adoption, meaning that I was given next to no information on my biological family, I have no idea about my family’s medical history. Every time doctors ask me about it, I have to tell them this. I may be at risk for any number of genetic health issues, but I may never know. Additionally, I was diagnosed at a young age with autism, although some doctors believe that it is “adoption-related issues,” relating to malnutrition, neglect and other traumas from my turbulent first nine months in foster care.

I still have scars that have never fully healed within me, and I was only nine months old when I was adopted.

Many adoptees face psychological, physical and emotional scars from the foster care system, their early years or whatever situation led them to be put up for adoption in the first place. On top of that, as they grow up, many adoptees might feel disconnected from their homeland and culture, just as I did. It may be difficult to feel connected to people who look like you, even if you’re from the exact same place.

This is not a reason not to adopt, though: in fact, it should serve as more of a reason to adopt. As a parent, you have the opportunity to heal your child and give them a better life. Parents need to be ready to approach this journey with honesty, preparation and love.

My parents knew the risk that they were taking when they adopted me in 2007 and my adoptive sister in 2008. Doctors told my parents I might never run, never play sports and that I carried deep emotional trauma. They adopted us anyway. Today, I have run, played sports and built a life with opportunities I might never have had otherwise. I am connected to my culture, I am thriving and I am grateful.

That is the power of adoption. It is not about erasing the past – it is about creating a future. It is not just about giving a child a home; it is about providing a family, a sense of belonging and the resources for them to become their best self. My journey is just one example of what adoption can make possible.

If you have ever considered adoption but remain on the fence, take the leap. Thousands of children are waiting. Not for perfection, but for permanence. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give and one of the greatest gifts a child can receive.

P.S. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Dylan Podlinski can be reached at dpodlinski@umass.edu.