Still an apology from the State for birth mothers and adoptees?

Amsterdam: Are they finally going to happen, the Dutch state's apology to the mothers who gave up their children for adoption after the introduction of the Adoption Act in 1956? Will there also be an apology to the children they lost? The foundations that represent the interests of the mothers who gave up their children for adoption and those who gave them up for adoption have been invited by Arno Rutte, State Secretary for Justice and Security, to participate in discussions on the question: what form should this recognition take?

"This is a breakthrough," says Frans Haven, board member of the Verleden in Zicht (VIZ) foundation, which represents the interests of the 15,500 Dutch people who were relinquished and adopted after the introduction of the Adoption Act in 1956 and before the introduction of the Abortion Act in 1984. "We are very pleased with this step," says Ellen Venhuizen, chair of the De Nederlandse Afstandsmoeder (DNA) foundation.

To the great joy of Haven and Venhuizen, a date has finally been set: by March 31st of next year, the Dutch government will officially recognize the great suffering inflicted on birth mothers and adoptees. Haven, born in 1965, relinquished, and later adopted: "The Adoption Act has created victims. Adoptees feel detached their entire lives." Venhuizen, who gave birth to a daughter in 1974 whom she relinquished for adoption: "The social services at the time, the predecessor of Fiom, pushed for adoption. They said: 'You want to keep your child? How are you going to do that? There's nothing.'"

Child Protection Council

Venhuizen and Haven also mention the role of the Child Protection Council. "They ultimately made the decision. They followed a pattern that was in line with FIOM's policy," says Venhuizen. She believes the council didn't do its job properly. "The council didn't stand up for the many underage women who were pregnant unexpectedly. Until 1988, women were still minors until the age of 21. And there was hardly any supervision of how our children fared in the homes where they ended up immediately after birth and in the years that followed, in their adoptive families." Those children are now adults. The youngest are just past forty, the oldest are approaching seventy. VIZ prefers not to call them "adopted" but "relinquished."

What that recognition should look like is currently under discussion. The foundations have been pushing for an apology for years. "We don't want sympathy. We want the State to take responsibility," says Haven. He feels supported by the results of a consultation with his supporters. In the upcoming talks with Rutte, VIZ and DNA want to push for an apology. Haven: "There should be separate apologies for the relinquished mothers and separate apologies for the birth mothers. There are relinquished mothers who later contacted their mothers and discovered that their mothers refused to see them. They were rejected again by their mothers. These relinquished mothers don't want to be mentioned in the same breath as birth mothers." He is hopeful. "I am very pleased with Rutte's friendly, open, and constructive attitude."

Prostitute

Venhuizen says the ministry is inviting more stakeholders to consider the form state recognition should take. She doesn't yet know which ones. "It's important for us that FIOM and the Child Protection Council are involved." She's also considering psychiatrists and psychologists. They are members of the Dutch Association for Psychiatry (NVvP) and the Dutch Institute of Psychologists. According to Venhuizen, authoritative psychiatrists like Trimbos and Heijmans described how adoption could be arranged. "They wrote a manual, or roadmap, on how to deal with unmarried pregnant women. Especially in the 1960s, they were heavily stigmatized, labeled as freeloaders, thieves, and prostitutes. If you smoked one joint, you were considered addicted. That was less the case in the 1970s." Nevertheless, she recognizes much in the roadmap. "It describes exactly how I was treated."

Haven says that ultimately the cabinet will make the decision. Venhuizen hopes the new cabinet doesn't reject the recognition.

The spokesperson for State Secretary Arno Rutte was not available for comment on Saturday.