Mothers looking for answers after losing babies
Mothers looking for answers after losing babies
11 Mar, 2010 08:51 AM
SUE never wanted to give her baby away.
But like so many other pregnant, unwed teenage girls in the 1960s, she had no choice.
Now 58, Sue has spent most of her live grieving for her baby girl lost through the “wicked” government-sanctioned adoption policies of the 1950s, 60s, 70s and 80s.
But with the help of Mandurah MLA David Templeman, who listened to the local woman’s story and agreed to help, Sue, along with thousands of other women forced to give up their babies, looks set to receive a State Government apology.
Following an emotive speech by Mr Templeman in State Parliament last month which detailed Sue’s heartbreaking account of the birth and loss of her daughter, the local MLA called on the government to acknowledge and apologise for this “great wrong”.
Health Minister Kim Hames announced last week that an apology was being prepared.
Dr Hames said he would read the apology in State Parliament and wanted to see a memorial created for families affected by the “cruel” welfare practices of the 1940s-1980s.
And while acknowledgment of the gross injustices of illegal and forced adoption will be welcomed by Sue, nothing will erase the years of grief and pain she has felt since having her first-born taken from her.
“My baby was born on July 16, 1968, and that moment has haunted me ever since,” Sue said.
“My beautiful little baby was born and I heard her terrified cries for me, her mother.
“They covered my face to prevent me seeing her and drugged me into oblivion.”
Sue said a “veil of secrecy, shame and toxic humiliation” descended on her life from that point on and even now she says her “baby’s cries are just as vivid today as they were back then”.
“My empty arms still ache from the inability to respond, to hold and protect her,” Sue said.
“I live daily with a frozen tension in my body, rising to panic at times at my inability to satisfy my maternal instinct to take care of her and answer her cry.
“This is in a constant holding pattern together with a profound sense of loss, grief, frustration and anger.
“We were the sole legal guardians of our children and the authorities had no right to deprive us of seeing, touching and holding our babies.”
What Sue finds most difficult to accept though is the “perpetuation of the lie” that mothers willingly gave their babies to strangers and that their babies were unwanted.
“There was no consultation, no preparation,” she said.
“Our kids need to know it wasn’t their mothers who gave them away.
“None of us gave our babies away willingly.
“We were young and vulnerable and up against a system too powerful to fight.”
Mr Templeman agreed and said he used his parliamentary speech to expose what he referred to as a “great injustice” and encourage the Government to expedite the apology process in consultation with victims of the then-governments’ brutal adoption policies.
“All I want is for these women to have their truth told,” he said.
“Let’s expose this and acknowledge it was wrong.”
Sue said she was grateful for Mr Templeman’s help and appreciated the time he had spent listening to her story.
“He gave us a voice,” she said.
“A voice that had been denied and suppressed for so long.”
Sue encouraged other women who went through similar trauma to contact Mr Templeman and be a part of the government’s acknowledgement and apology process.
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