Adopting children in care may soon be made easier

4 March 2012

 
Sunday, March 4, 2012 , by Claudia Calleja
Adopting children in care may soon be made easier

Video: Mark Zammit Cordina
 The government is looking into a system that will make it easier for people to adopt children living in institutions by allowing their natural parents to remain in touch, Family Minister Chris Said has said.

We were afraid we would not see her again. That was when we decided to adopt her...The Gozitan minister, who is himself an adoptive parent, has made it his mission to free more Maltese children in care for adoption.

The government is in the process of establishing what is keeping more Maltese children from being put up for adoption.

It will also consider introducing a so-called open adoption system, which would encourage natural parents to allow their children to be adopted while adoptive parents take legal responsibility. He said this system could be ideal for a small country like Malta.

“When the Prime Minister said I was to be responsible for social policy my thoughts went straight to adoption and how I could improve the system,” he said.

His eyes shimmered as he spoke about his family and recounted the journey that led him to become a father of three.

He and his wife Linda have two daughters – 13-year-old Anastasia and Andrea, six – whom they adopted from Russia. They also have a two-year-old son, Benjamin.

“We used to discuss adoption even if we had our children. For us it happened in reverse,” he smiled.

Dr Said has three goals that would help more children find a home. First, he wants to improve the local process by, for example, reducing the waiting time to attend the adoption course at Appo?? – the government agency that handles adoptions.

Second, he is looking into changing policies and laws to free more Maltese children for adoption. Of the 175 children adopted since 2008, only 20 were Maltese.

“The law does not allow a child to be put up for adoption if the natural parents object. Natural parents have rights over their children, but they also have obligations. If they abdicate from them for a set number of years, perhaps the child should be adopted,” he said.

He is also working on reaching cross-country adoption agreements with other countries that are members of the Hague Convention that ensures there is no trafficking.

Overseas adoptions currently can take place from Albania, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Colombia, Ethiopia and Russia. Negotiations with the Philippines are ongoing.

Foreign adoptions became the centre of debate a few weeks ago when a Maltese Church-run orphanage in Ethiopia decided to limit adoptions to married couples. This was interpreted as a move to prevent gay couples from adopting.

Dr Said said Maltese law allowed both single people and married couples to adopt, and he believes the process should be open to anyone who is eligible.

The minister and his wife started discussing adoption when they had been married for several years but had no children. The couple had not actually made up their mind until a little Russian girl picked them as her new family.

Six years ago Dr Said was visiting an institute in Russia on official duty when a seven-year-old girl clung to him. The director of the institute suggested he take her home for the summer as part of a summer programme. He called his wife and Dr Said was soon on his way home with the girl, Anastasia.

“At the time I was Nadur mayor and she became loved by the whole village... When September arrived, we were afraid we would not see her again. That was when we decided to adopt her...

“But first we had to take her back... We learnt that for the first month she refused to speak in Russian but only Maltese she had picked up over the summer. It was a difficult time... We’d try to phone regularly but sometimes we did not manage to speak to her for a week,” he said.

Three months later the couple adopted Anastasia and the following year they adopted Andrea, who was 10 months old.

They had to undergo the process in the Russian courts twice, a process which included more than a two-hour grilling by a Russian judge.

“The adoption process was not easy. It’s very delicate and there are times when you start giving up... But when the process is over, the satisfaction is great...

“Sometimes we look at our daughters and wonder where they’d be.

“True, they might be better off. They might have a father who spends more time with them,” he said, as his expression softened from that of hands-on minister to concerned-father.

“I feel guilty. On the weekend I try to be present. On Thursdays I meet my constituents at home so the children can be around.

But on other days they are asleep when I leave home and when I return at night...

“The other day, Andrea’s teacher told me how someone at school asked her what her father does.

“She said I work in Malta and do shows on TV – which is where she sees me,” he smiled.

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Charles Sammut. (NY)

Today, 16:28

Glad things worked out well for Dr Said but it is not always the case. Far from it. There were cases here in America that the adopted kids from Russia were sent back. Another case that comes to mind was an instance where the kid was so difficult that the adoptive father actually shot him to death. And I believe that as of recently one cannot adopt kids from Russia any more. Many expecting mums do drugs and abuse alcohol which have a negative affect on the kids later on in life. And many are not treated well in their formative years before getting adopted and end up psychologically scarred for life.. So adoption is a noble idea and certainly a godsend for those wanting kids but unfortunately many times it does not end well down the road.

Reply to Charles Sammut. (NY)

Mr Alexander Galea

Today, 16:16

Dear Mrs. Baitrman - Who do you think you are to judge the Maltese mentality ? Get out of your colonial mentality - by the way that is my opinion of you and I don't care. I believe that it is the UK who wants to be called European but opted to stay out of the European monetary crisis issue not Malta. Who is backward ?

Reply to Mr Alexander Galea

A. Mizzi

Today, 15:36

The government is looking into a system .....

Is that the kind of Gonzipn vision after more than 20 years administration in a pre-election mode- the Government is looking into a system........IT'S ACTION THAT IS NEEDED NOT LOOKING INTO!


Reply to A. Mizzi

John Azzopoardi

Today, 12:49

The adoption of children needs to be handled very carefully. Some of our institutions do a great job of raising these children. We must also realize that there are times when children who are adopted are also not treated well. Let' us not jump to fast.

Reply to John Azzopoardi

Marius Zulgis

Today, 12:40

An excellent initiative, and such a noble cause. Whilst I have no doubt that those looking after children in care love them and work extremely hard for them, there is no substitute for family life and the love of doting parents. This initiative will result in less children in care (thus less pressure on the carers and less expenditure on social services), a chance for parents who sadly could not have their own child to become parents for the first time, and a loving family for the children lucky enough to be chosen. It's purely a win-win situation, well done!

Reply to Marius Zulgis

Joseph Cauchi Senior

Today, 12:13

What a sweet story.

This article really made my day. Well done.

JC.


Reply to Joseph Cauchi Senior

Emmanuel Marmara'

Today, 11:49

while I fully agree that everything should be done to give a very better life and living to these abandoned children, on the other hand I do not agree that the real parents should have any rights over them. Imagine the adoptive parents, going through thick and thin and all the sacrifices that have been done, and all the love given to these children,even by the adoptive's relatives, their real parents, when they are convenient, come out of nowhere to claim them.
ON the contrary Mr.Minister, pass a law on those who do not want their born children, that these will be taken away from them as soon as they are born, and they will never know who where they.

If they didn't want any children, they shouldn't have done so, in the first place...even if it was financial reason.....WHY SHOULD ANYONE SUFFER OR TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR MOMENT OF PASSION ? !!!!!!!!

Reply to Emmanuel Marmara'

Mr Eric Gahn

Today, 10:41

While I applaud Dr Said and all others who go through the harrowing process of adoption so they may give otherwise unlucky children a better chance at a happy, fulfilling life I cannot but help notice the timeliness of this story in relation to Alison Bezzina's recent story about the church prohibiting adoptions by gay parents.

Reply to Mr Eric Gahn

Iris Baitrman

Today, 11:25

Well thats Malta for you, they like to be the same as the rest of europe, but they just do not comprehend how to go about it.. still backwards and and its all got to do with their catholic teachings which does more harm then good., sorry its my opinion others will definitly disagree but then again thats not my problem.

Colin Formosa

Today, 09:42

Good luck. Do your best to get those kids out of institutions and living with loving families.

Reply to Colin Formosa

M. Cauchi

Today, 11:05

As much as I agree with children needing loving families, it is also important to recognize that the 'institutions' (which are better known as Children Residential Homes) do give their utmost to safeguard the children and bring them up in a loving environment.

S. Zammit

Today, 12:13

I agree with you MR Formosa but one thing is for sure. The children at the institutes are loved with an everlasting love, too. Even though they are not within a "family".
I have first hand experience with the nuns of the creche, so i can vouch for them. The love those nuns have towards all the children is immense.

Colin Formosa

Today, 13:37

Mr Zammit, the sterling work done by these institutions is not in doubt.
It is just sad that so many prospective parents go through such adversity, financial cost and half way across the world to be able to adopt when children here are kept institutionalised because of the capriciousness of their natural parents.
Unfortunately the loving enviroment at the nuns ends the day the natural parent decides the child is old enough to work the street.
In this case I agree with Mr Marmara.