Adoption, doing it the right way

(From left) Gayatri Abraham, founder of Padme; counsellor Saras Bhaskar, Chandra Thanikachalam, VP of Indian Council for Child Welfare and paediatrician Sharada Srinivas at a panel discussion ? D SampathkumarBy Vaishali VijaykumarExpress News Service

CHENNAI : On a Saturday afternoon, a motley group — of adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, psychologists, legal and health professionals — gathered at the Wandering Artist for a panel discussion on different aspects of adoption. The event aimed to spread awareness and mitigate the gaps revolving around this sensitive topic especially post-digitisation through Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA). CARA, under the Central Government’s Ministry of Women and Child Development, is the nodal body for adoption of children.

The list of panelists included Saras Bhaskar, a counsellor; Dr Sharada Srinivas, a paediatrician; and Chandra Thanikachalam, vice president of Indian Council for Child Welfare. The session was moderated by Gayatri Abraham, founder of Padme.

Padme, a Bengaluru-based organisation started in August 2017, is a meeting ground and support system for adoptive parents, potential adoptive parents, adoptees and other stakeholders. “Padme is a result of four years of research after digitisation. There have been several developments since the Central Adoption Resource Authority was set up. All all legal adoption agencies were brought under one umbrella.

However, the whole process was taking place through a screen resulting in a loss of sharing of feelings and human interaction. However, many are aware that the system has been centralised. Another crucial part is there are very few adoption-trained counsellors. Our long-term goal is to popularise adoption as an alternate way of starting a family rather than a fallback option,” said Gayatri.

A common opinion of the panelists was that the transformation in the mindset of people about adoption has not changed much even after 20 years. Adoption is considered as a resort only after all the other options fail. “There are multiple agencies and organised sectors for adoption. Parents must be tested for psychological preparedness during the waiting, pre and post-adoption period. After receiving the child, they need to acclimatise to the surroundings.

The sleep pattern, food cycle and emotional cues need to be studied. It is completely alright to have age-appropriate conversations with the kid about adoption. The earlier we disclose, the better. A closure is very important in such cases. The importance of a counsellor is crucial in determining your relationship with the child. A few children might want to go see their biological parents while a few might not. It all depends on how secure your attachment with the child is,” said Saras Bhaskar.

A child must be placed for adoption only after completing three months. Parents accept the child only after biological clearance. This is where a paediatrician comes into assist. “We are referred to the parents usually through gynaecologists. There are parents who adopt a second child in case the biological one is physically or mentally challenged, and some go for a special child specifically. They need to be prepared to invest time, effort and also be financially stable. We look into these criteria from a child-centric perspective to see if they are capable of taking the child home,” said Sharada Srinivas.

Parallel parenting and trafficking has been a major concern in the adoption sector. “We are consultants to the court. We go through the petitions filed by checking if the regulations were followed, if a child is legally free for adoption and if the parents are competent based on a home-study report. In India, by law, it’s a closed adoption.

Parents need to be 21 years older to the child they’re adopting to prevent trafficking. The genetic information about children is not accessible to parents. This is their most concerning factor. We are right now following the Adoptions Regulations Act 2017. CARA, an umbrella under which several agencies function, takes care of functioning of agencies in a state,” said Chandra Thanikachalam.“We’re working with several parental support groups. The main motto is to prepare parents for adoption,” said Gayatri.

Focus on physical appearances

People tend to have preferences when it comes to the child’s physical appearance, said Sharada Srinivas, adding, “As doctors, we cannot prognosticate for a picture perfect baby. They need to understand that the individual ranking goes down if they tend to reject a child during the process. A proper reason has to be mentioned.”

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