Adoptivfar: Der er intet grundlag for at udråbe tusindvis af adopterede børn som ofre for overgreb

Adoptive father: There is no basis for proclaiming thousands of adopted children as victims of abuse

Last week's chronicle on international adoption forgets the nuances and demonizes adoptive parents. That some adoptions end in tragedies cannot be used as a general argument against adoption, writes adoptive father Mogens Jeppesen in this debate

Then we go to it again - explain to our adopted children that they can forget about their safe childhood, good education, exciting jobs and lovely families. For in reality they are - whether they recognize it or not - victims of a brutal assault.

They have been forcibly removed from their country of birth, where they should have been and grown up so that they could take responsibility for the future of their only proper country. And then we must also remember to apologize to them.

Such is the message in the chronicle "It is unethical to defer poor parents their children" from May 16.

The cause of the accumulation of prejudices, demonizations and, above all, generalizations must be long pursued: Adoption from abroad is called "child removal" and is described as a market where children are traded.

It is taken for granted that children are best served by staying in their country of origin, that they have come to the country under false pretenses as a result of a disgraceful adoption process.

In addition, the chronicles believe that this process is contrary to the rights of the child, particularly offensive and burdensome for their "well-being, sense of justice and human dignity". All over one comb - nothing less.

And the evidence of how terrible it is for all adopted is two documentaries that apparently focus on failed adoptions. And a reference to a group of Greenlandic children, who in 1951 were forced to be removed to Denmark.

I am not an adoption researcher, as one of the chroniclers prides itself on, but would like to share out my 42 years of general experience as a father of four, including an adopted child: Some adopted children have problems - and some children who growing up with their biological parents, have problems.

The fact that some adoptions end in tragedies cannot be used as a general argument against adoption - even from abroad. Unfortunately, there are also relationships between children and their biological parents who end up in tragedies.

In other words, there is no basis for proclaiming thousands of adopted children as victims of gross abuse - or grounds for demonizing their parents.

Danish:

Adoptivfar: Der er intet grundlag for at udråbe tusindvis af adopterede børn som ofre for overgreb

Sidste uges kronik om international adoption glemmer nuancerne og dæmoniserer adoptivforældre. At nogle adoptioner ender i tragedier kan ikke bruges som et generelt argument imod adoption, skriver adoptivfar Mogens Jeppesen i dette debatindlæg

Så skal vi til det igen – forklare vores adopterede børn, at de godt kan glemme alt om deres trygge barndom, gode uddannelse, spændende job og dejlige familier. For i virkeligheden er de – hvad enten de vil erkende det eller ej – ofre for et brutalt overgreb.

De er blevet tvangsfjernet fra deres fødeland, hvor de burde være blevet og vokset op, så de kunne tage ansvar for deres eneste korrekte fædrelands fremtid. Og så skal vi desuden huske at sige undskyld til dem.

Sådan er budskabet i kronikken »Det er uetisk at franarre fattige forældre deres børn« fra den 16. maj.

Magen til ophobning af fordomme, dæmoniseringer og først og fremmest generaliseringer skal man lede længe efter: Adoption fra udlandet kaldes »tvangsfjernelse af børn« og beskrives som et marked, hvor der handles med børn.

Det betragtes som en selvfølge, at børn er bedst tjent med at blive i deres oprindelsesland, at de er kommet til landet under forkerte forudsætninger som resultat af en skændig adoptionsproces.

Derudover mener kronikørerne, at denne proces er i strid med barnets rettigheder, særdeles krænkende og belastende for deres »trivsel, retfærdighedsfølelse og menneskelig værdighed«. Alle sammen over én kam – intet mindre.

Og beviserne på, hvor forfærdeligt det er for alle adopterede, er to dokumentarfilm, der åbenbart fokuserer på mislykkede adoptioner. Og en henvisning til en gruppe grønlandske børn, der i 1951 blev tvangsfjernet til Danmark.

Jeg er ikke adoptionsforsker, som en af kronikørerne bryster sig af, men vil da gerne dele ud af mine 42 års almindelige erfaringer som far til fire, heraf et adopteret barn: Nogle børn, der er adopterede, har problemer – og nogle børn, der vokser op hos deres biologiske forældre, har problemer.

At nogle adoptioner ender i tragedier, kan ikke bruges som et generelt argument imod adoption – heller ikke fra udlandet. For desværre er der også forhold mellem børn og deres biologiske forældre, der ender i tragedier.

Der er med andre ord intet grundlag for at udråbe tusindvis af adopterede børn som ofre for grove overgreb – eller grundlag for at dæmonisere deres forældre.