The interest of the child in illegal adoption

Resume

We are regularly startled by reports of illegal admission of children with the aim of adopting them and offering them a safe home. Sometimes innocent, sometimes very calculated adults, circumvent the law. [1]

preface

In recent years we have been regularly startled in the newspapers by reports about illegal admission of children with the aim of adopting them and offering them a safe home. Sometimes innocent, sometimes very calculating adults circumvent the law.

The desire to raise a child is great. Having a child via the internet or other contacts is relatively easy. All means seem justified and… it doesn't really matter that much, does it? In the end, the child will be fine in the new family, right? Is that correct? What is the interest of the child? Does it matter if it is a baby or an older child? When is the best interests of the child served and what means are or are not permitted when there is an illegal admission to a family?

In this opinionated article, I will discuss what circumventing the law and illegal hospitalization can mean from a psychological perspective. Unfortunately, this is not a subject that has been researched, nor one that has received broad attention. General theory and experience with adoption and illegal incorporation are therefore guiding.

It is striking that there is no investigation, while some of the incidents are widely reported in the media. I am thinking of babies Donna and baby J. or of reports about child theft in countries such as China or India. In the absence of research, the debate is guided by opinions and emotion.

Illegal adoption versus the long legal process

Illegal adoption in the Netherlands involves a handful of children every year, or so it is estimated. However, the fear is that this number will increase due to the shifts in the practice of intercountry adoption.

Many adoptive parents wait for a child for years: five years or more is no exception. It concerns thousands of waiting parents. In the meantime, only around 700 children come to the Netherlands every year and around 20 children are adopted domestically every year. [2] There is therefore a tension between the adoption demand from children (small number) and adoption demand from parents (large number).

Most prospective parents choose adoption out of a deep-rooted desire to have children. This wish would best be met with the adoption of a baby. Baby adoptions of completely healthy children in particular are declining sharply: in 2010 this concerned 12% of all incoming children. [3] Most of the incoming children have a so-called 'special need' (61% in 2010, SAV [4]). This means that they have a special educational need and special development need. They are older than two years on arrival or have a (operable or inoperable) disability, illness, traumatic history (such as neglect, abuse, etc.). Adoption is the only chance of a family education for these children.

They often do well and - partly thanks to the patience, alertness and sensitive parenting of adoptive parents - they catch up with growth and development delays. Especially when their development is compared with children who stayed behind in children's homes, the result of adoption is special (Van IJzendoorn & Juffer, 2006 [5]). The caveats that adult adoptees give us here is that they often do well, but that it is not easy to be adopted (Harris, 2006 [6]; Wekker et al, 2006 [7]). Throughout a lifetime, there are additional themes arising from being given up for adoption, being unable or not to grow up in the country of birth with the family of birth (Brodzinsky Schechter & Marantz Henig, 1992 [8]). Some find their own way in this. Nevertheless, there is a relatively larger number of adoptees who ever make an appeal for assistance (Tieman, 2006 [9]; Juffer & Van IJzendoorn, 2008). Questions about origin, distance, adoption and identity often play a role (Bakker-van Zeil, 1994-2002 [10]; Lee, 2005 [11]).

If we know that arrears are being made up, is it still a bad thing if an adoption came about illegally? Which dimension does illegality add? As mentioned before, research and systematic follow-up of the children concerned is lacking. However, it can be safeguarded that illegality surrendered and adopted makes it even more complex. Not only did the intended parents commit a criminal offense to obtain the child, the mother (and sometimes together with the father) also got rid of the child. Sometimes there is child robbery and the trader gets the money, while the parents do not know what happened to their child. Illegal cases often involve a lot of money. The bottom of the child's life is built on a business transaction, which degrades man to a commodity. The child has been sold and bought.

If this was done consciously, the question is whether the parent-offenders can ever make up for this fact with their upbringing? What does this actually mean for a child? How can we do justice to the child if it has ended up in such a situation? And what if it was done unconsciously, well intentioned, is it bad?

First of all, an international and national choice has been made for a civil law framework within which distance and adoption take place. A framework with a child rights signature, in which the rights of children are the first starting point. For example, the most important agreement is the subsidiarity principle: a child can only qualify for foreign adoption if conditions for both the renunciation and the adoption have been met. Important conditions are:

- Careful relinquishment procedure, in which the parents are accompanied and alternatives are discussed. There must also be a period of, for example, three months after the birth, during which they can reconsider their decision. By way of illustration: in the Netherlands a proposed distance is regularly canceled (verbal comm. Council for Child Protection). [12]

- All other options for family education in the country of birth have been investigated and proved impossible.

- The adoptive parents are prepared through group meetings and screened by the Child Care and Protection Board. In this way they are prepared for their special rearing task. If the screening (including judicial and medical screening) does not show any risks, they will receive a permission in principle and are allowed to adopt formally.

In the case of illegal adoptions, the above conditions are not fulfilled at all or only partially. The procedure can often take place quickly without the intervention of authorities. There is no control over the body or person who arranges the adoption. This often also means a younger child (the often coveted healthy baby) than when adopted through regular procedures. If the child has been robbed, there is a couple or mother in the country of birth who does not know what happened to the child.

Once the child has been admitted to the adoptive family, it often takes some time before it becomes clear that there could be an illegal admission. If that is the case, then the question arises whether and, if so, under what conditions, the parent-child bond that has arisen should be broken.

Attachment relationships

It is precisely in the case of illegal admission that it has regularly been suggested that the attachment relationship that has been formed must not be broken. This view is (partly) to blame for the fact that once discovered illegal recordings are barely reversed. However, the question remains whether an attachment relationship built on false pretenses is strong enough to answer the history and the resulting questions in a meaningful way for the child.

The foundation for attachment relationships is laid in the first year of life and develops later in life. Children build attachment relationships with all carers they know (see, among others, Juffer, 1993 [13]; Van IJzendoorn & Juffer, 2006 [14]; Van IJzendoorn, 2008 [15]). There is a difference in those relationships: some are stronger than others. This mainly depends on the mean duration of the caregiver's presence together with the caregiver's degree of emotional availability (sensitive responsiveness). This sensitivity requires parents to adapt to the changing needs of their children throughout life (Golding, 2008 [16]; Gray, 2002, 2005 [17]; Hughes, 2009 [18]).

Breaking through attachment

The lifelong developmental course of attachment entails that broken or broken attachments can be picked up. This raises the question of whether a child's developmental chances are seriously impaired when it is transferred to another family. In principle, every transfer is traumatic and therefore risky: a transfer will leave (deep) traces.

At times, the foundation laid for family attachment of illegal admission will serve as the foundation for establishing an actual parenting relationship in a family where a child in question can become an adult. Very important is the age of the child and the reason given to the child for his or her transfer.

The risk that a break in continuity in parenting situation will harm attachment development may in a certain situation be a risk that must be taken. To minimize this risk, intensive, specialist guidance is required at the time of the transfer and initial integration into a new family. It should be clear that the new family will be a permanent family. Only from a completely safe, predictable and reliable upbringing situation with adoptive parents who are prepared for and able to cope with their task can it be ensured that an adoptee can develop into an independent adult for whom the adoption status is an integrated part of the identity.

Resilient children

The fact that an illegally admitted child is developing well has often been used as a contraindication to the transfer of an illegally admitted child. Yet this cannot be attributed solely and exclusively to the actions of the primary educators. Longitudinal psychological research teaches us that there is a group of children who are resilient in their own right and still develop well despite less favorable preconditions. Werner (1989) [19] states that such children who are active, socially responsive, autonomous and positive socially from an early age and display 'resilient' behavior develop better than children who do not. Such children can be called socially competent and are able to tap into resources and support themselves: In view of their situation they can be called 'vulnerable but invincible'. Such a child provokes sensitive and responsive behavior in his educators. It will often be difficult to determine what share of the interaction is attributable to the child and what share to the educators, but the child's share should not be forgotten. Focused observation and examination by a psychologist can help to unravel the part of the child and that of the parents.

Age and opinion of the child

The age of the child and the way in which it is prepared for placement with its (illegal) parent (s) is of great importance. Not all children living illegally in a family were babies upon arrival. Occasionally it concerns older children. Once the child can talk and has some understanding of who and how they live and live, it is important to include the child's vision. Some children are promised a new home, one can stay in the new family forever. They have become attached to their new parents from this unconditional basis. Especially when a child is four years or older, this is essential and it must be carefully considered whether a transfer offers the child better opportunities to grow up than staying in the (illegal) family. For the latter, a condition is that the child learns as soon as possible how it entered the family and why parents have taken this path. Therapeutic support is needed for this. In theory it may be the case that after that the child no longer wants to live with the parents and a transfer still has to be realized.

Due care and transparency

First of all, there is no legal basis for illegal inclusion, especially transparency and due care. The process that led to distance is often unclear. It is not clear why this child could not stay with parents, what was done to maintain the right of this child in their own country, with family, in the network or with a foster family and what was the reason that this child was given up. Distance, that is what it is about adoption: it is not the adoption that hurts, but the abandonment (Soll & Buterborough, 2003).

Adult adoptees must make sense of the fact that they have been surrendered, which is complicated when there is uncertainty about the context in which the distance took place.

Research and experience show that when the distance process is guided and the option is really open to revoke the distance, many mothers revert to their initial decision to distance themselves and continue to take care of their child themselves (Bos, 2007 [20]; mond comm. Child Care and Protection Board, 2009). If a child stays with the people who took it in illegally, they must be willing to take this up with the child and help them put it into place. In honesty and openness.

Parenting Behavior

Attachment and parenting requires parents to be able to subordinate their needs to those of the child. This has usually not happened in the case of an illegal inclusion. The wish of the parents was leading, not the need for other educators of the child. It is therefore doubtful whether parents who consciously opt for illegal admission take important parenting skills as a perspective and reflect on themselves as a parent, but especially on the needs and parenting questions of the child. The question is whether they can fix their action towards the child. This will require solid psychological support!

Growing up after illegality?

The essential question is whether a child can grow up and grow into a balanced adult with the realization that he / she has been obtained 'unlawfully' by her 'parents' and that the original parent did not carry out the upbringing out of impotence or incapacity, but for profit. According to therapists, such a basis of a human life hinders the formation of identity and the development of the self and requires a process to learn to give meaning to this (Soll, 2000 [21]; Soll & Buterborough, 2003 [22]).

Return to the country of birth

When a child has been robbed and is found by biological family, the question arises whether the child should return in such a situation? This could draw on the experiences of the foster care sector and work together with both parents on a form of 'inclusive' parenting in which the child literally 'wins' a parent couple, avoiding making choices and both parent couples involved do not experience any rivalry ( Haans, Robbroeckx, Hoogeduin & Van Beem-Kloppers, 2004 [23]). It should be noted that in intercountry adoption, intercultural differences and opinions also play an important role here and must be approached sensitively.

Life history and identity

In the context of adoption and foster care, it is essential that the life history and the story prior to the placement of this child is unambiguous. There should be no dissonances in this story. By this I mean that for the development of a strong personality of a child, sensitivity, honesty and genuineness of the educators is necessary. When educators have been insensitive to the best interests of their child prior to an adoption or foster family placement and have put their own desire to have children above all else and have obtained a child in an (semi-) illegal way, they have not acted reliably. With that, the basis they offer the child has been compromised. It remains an enormous task to rectify this and it must be examined for each situation whether or not this is possible.

The child may bond initially but will hear the true story later in life. This story does not match the image the child has acquired of himself and the world. The cohesion between the inner world and the external reality is disrupted, most likely resulting in an enormous inner conflict that stands in the way of harmonious identity formation. Characteristic in this is the comment of Joe Soll (January 27, 2009, e-mail), adult, therapist and knowing that he was bought by his adoptive parents: “The biggest problem that I see is the anger of the adoptee as an adult to find out that he or she was purchased and the difficulty of having a reunion and the inherent pain of that ”. Not only do the adoptive parents turn out not to be what the child has always thought they were, on top of that is the pain that the first mother, the birth mother, traded the child for money. The child has thus built its life on unreliability: on people whom it has come to love, whose example has served to build a self-image and identity.

Criminal and Civil Law

Adoption takes place within the civil law framework. Admittedly, illegally taking in a child is punishable, but as long as there is no question of exploitation, it is a matter that will be mildly punished. In practice, this creates a dilemma: the Public Prosecution Service should act but has few resources, the Child Care and Protection Board, which is called in to check how the child is doing, wants to look at the child on the one hand, but often also looks at the correctness of action. In the latter case, it may be that she advocates stricter measures or a course of action (such as removing an older child from a family) that are in fact not or no longer in the direct interest of the child at that time, but have been prompted earlier from the perspective of applying treaties, wanting to issue sanctions.

I would like to ask politicians to provide clarity in this regard, so that the Council can do what its basic task is, which is to safeguard the best interests of the child, and in addition, perpetrators of unlawful acts can be punished in a parallel process. If it is not in the best interest of the child to transfer the child, another (task or work) sentence will have to be carried out. I would prefer to think of a punishment that has a direct relationship with parenting, such as being a foster family for children from Dutch homes for a long time (weekend).

The interest of the child

Every child has an interest in family education - a child develops best within a 'good' family. However, if the child has ended up in that family via an illegal route, a complex issue arises for which there is no ready-made solution.

Each case must be assessed individually, taking into account not only the here and now, but also the previous history, the situation surrounding the distance (whether or not robbed) and the expected impact of the situation that has arisen for later life. The learnability, willingness of the 'perpetrators' - parents to fix their actions and follow the child, making room for the biological parents when this is the case - are very important. The facts must be gathered and assessed. The decision whether or not to transfer the child will always have major, irreversible consequences.

The principle should be to stop illegal placements, but the age of the child, the alternative, the attitude of the parents and the ability of the child to meaningfully experience his own life history should be leading.

Speed ??of action is also decisive: an illegal case deserves a rapid action protocol. When investigations, lawsuits and appeals go on for more than a year, transfers become increasingly difficult from the perspective of the child and often less and less in the best interest of the child.

Intercountry adoption is intended for children who could not grow up in a family in any other way in their native country. However, only if the distance and coaching of parents is done carefully and adoptive parents are thoroughly prepared for the arrival of their child, there is a fair and sincere basis for the afterlife. There is also a role for the birth family: a role at a distance or a role closer, depending on whether it is good for the child in question. From there, the child can 'become who it is' and develop its own identity in an uncompromised way.

It is very important that procedures are followed properly, but also that the child in question is carefully considered for each case. Giving meaning to renunciation and adoption without involving illegality is complicated enough.

Endnotes

1. Dr. Anneke JG Vinke is an independent Child and Adolescent Psychologist / GZ Psychologist and specializes in intercountry adoption (www.adoptiepraktijk.nl). She is a research coordinator at the Adoption Triangle Research Center (www.adoptionresearch.nl). This article is written in a personal capacity.

2. 2009: 684 children, of which 52% with a Special Need; 2010 705 children 61% with a Special Need. Central, national registration of the numbers of Special Needs adoptions has been taking place since 2009. Source: Stichting Adoptie Amenities .

3. Ministry of Justice (2011). Adoption: Trends & analysis. Statistical overview of intercountry adoption for the years 2007-2011 . Tables 1.1 & 6-2010: 705 placed children of which 87 <1 year.

4. 2009: 52%; mouth. Comm SAV 2010: 61%. Category classification special needs , Adoptie.nl.

5. MH Van IJzendoorn & F. Juffer (2006), 'The Emmanuel Miller Memorial Lecture 2006. Adoption as intervention. Meta-analytic evidence for massive catch-up and plasticity in physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development ', Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 47, p. 1228-1245.

6. P. Harris (ed.) (2006), In search of belonging. Reflections of transracially adopted people, London: BAAF.

7. G. Wekker and others (2006), You have a color, but you are Dutch. Identity Formations of Adopted People of Color, Utrecht: University, Science Shop Letteren.

8. DM Brodzinsky, D. Schechter & R. Marantz Henig (1992), Being adopted, New York: Anchor books.

9. F. Juffer & MH Van IJzendoorn (2008), 'Adoption as intervention (2). The remarkable catch-up of adopted children and the plasticity of their development ', Kind and Adolescent 29, no. 1, p. 31-49.

10. T. Bakker-van Zeil (1994-2002), Adoptie in Beeld (compilation video; four films), Utrecht: Metropolis film.

11. B. Lee (2005), Adopted the movie, www.adoptedthemovie.com.

12. This means, among other things, that children are often already several months to 1 year old before intercountry adoption is considered.

13. F. Juffer (1993), Bonded by adoption. An experimental study of attachment and competence in families with an adopted baby, Amersfoort: Acco.

14. MH Van IJzendoorn & F. Juffer (2006), 'The Emmanuel Miller Memorial Lecture 2006. Adoption as intervention. Meta-analytic evidence for massive catch-up and plasticity in physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development ', Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 47, p. 1228-1245.

15. MH Van IJzendoorn (2008), Education across the border, Amsterdam: Boom.

16. K. Golding (2008), Nurturing Attachments, London: Jessica Kingsley.

17. DB Gray (2007), Nurturing Adoptions, Indianapolis: Perspectives; DB Gray (2002), Attachting in Adoption, Indianapolis: Perspectives.

18. D. Hughes (2009), Attachment Focused Parenting, New York: Norton.

19. EE Werner (1989), 'High risk children in young adulthood: a longitudinal study from birth to 32 years', American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 59, p. 72-81.

20. P. Bos (2007), Once a mother. Relinquishment and adoption from the perspective of unmarried mothers in South India , Radboud University Nijmegen, academic thesis: author.

21. J. Soll (2000), Adoption healing… a path to recovery, Baltimore: Gateway press.

22. J. Soll & KW Buterborough (2003), Adoption healing…. A path to recovery for mothers who lost their children to adoption, Baltimore: Gateway Press.

23. G. Haans et al. (2004), Methodology book parent counseling in role differentiation. Helping parents fulfill the parent role after placing their child in a foster family, Amsterdam: SWP

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