Stolen or sold as a baby: 'Nothing in my adoption file is true'

Born on a baby farm , stolen from your mother, or traded by criminals. That is the past of many adopted children from abroad. The Dutch government knew about it, but there is no compensation to find out the truth. Some adoptees are fed up and go out of their way to find answers.

A group of adoptees has sent a statement in which they hold the Ministry of Justice and Security liable for damage caused by illegal adoption procedures of children from abroad. The adopted children hope for a financial compensation. Among other things, they want to pay for the searches for their biological families.

The Joustra Committee published a report in February which showed that the Dutch government was aware of abuses in adoptions from abroad between 1967 and 1998. The government then apologized - to the surprise of many adopted children. Lawyer Dewi Deijle, herself adopted from Indonesia, has been campaigning for the rights of adoptees in the Netherlands for years. "I did shed a tear that day," says Deijle.

But then came the next step. "If you apologize, you also have to take responsibility." And according to Deijle, that should be in the form of compensation for all adoptees. Minister Sander Dekker (Legal Protection) wants to set up a knowledge center and has come up with a subsidy scheme for organizations that support adopted children, but financial support for all individual adoptees is not yet available.

Deijle talked to Dekker: 'He believes that the Dutch taxpayer should not have to pay for this. While I think that the Netherlands is all about solidarity. I don't know who my biological mother is, but I was most likely trafficked by criminals. We are solving crimes, why do we have to pay for it ourselves? '

On behalf of the Mijn Roots foundation, an organization that works for adoptees from Indonesia, Deijle already held the Dutch state liable in 2017. However, the Ministry of Justice and Security then dismissed the charge. That is why the lawyer now decided to collect the stories of Dutch adoptees from different countries and send them to the ministry, in the hope of inducing the government to pay compensation. Deijle expects to hear something within four weeks.

Mirjam (right) and Doriet (left) (Image: Bsharp Media)

'Nothing was true'

One of the stories sent with Deijle's claim is the story of Doriet Begemann (41). Doriet started her search more than twenty years ago. She was adopted as a baby from Indonesia in 1979, along with her one and a half year old sister Mirjam. The Dutch couple who took them in believed the two were biological sisters. But Doriet never believed that.

'When I looked at Mirjam, I had the feeling that she was not my sister. The funny thing is that I don't really know what a biological sister feels like, but I just knew she wasn't my real sister. '

'When I looked at Mirjam, I had the feeling that she was not my sister'

In 2004 Doriet engaged the Spoorloos program . With the adoption documents, the team searched for her biological family but found nothing. 'Then it became clear: my adoption file is not correct. The signatures on the birth certificate and the transfer certificate did not match, the addresses were incorrect, my birth notification was made by a midwife instead of my biological mother. Nothing was true. '

'I was afraid of what I would find'

After the investigation of Spoorloos, Doriet wanted to do a DNA test to see if Mirjam was her real sister, but Mirjam refused. 'I went looking for answers myself and considered going to Indonesia, but in the end I decided to use that money to study,' says Doriet. 'Another factor was that people said:' You were given up for a reason, maybe your parents don't want to see you at all. Are you going to spend thousands of euros to find out that you are not wanted at all? ' I was also afraid of what I would find. '

Doriet and her adoptive father (Image: Bsharp Media)

Doriet could forget help from the Dutch government or agencies during her search. A Dutch judge approved the adoption, but subsequently the registry office in The Hague refused to convert her birth certificate to a Dutch certificate. The reason for the refusal was that the midwife had reported her birth, when this should have been done by the biological mother.

Why the judge has not looked at this again Doriet still does not know. “I don't think the judge had any bad intentions. The idea then was really: 'Those children are pathetic and we have to help them.'

'I tried to call the Dutch court, but you are being sent from pillar to post. The signatures of the judge in Indonesia and the notary in Indonesia have probably been looked at, but not the signatures of my biological parents. Anyone can see that the birth certificate has a completely different signature than the transfer certificate, even though they should both be from my biological parents, ”says Doriet.

The DNA test

Sixteen years after the investigation of Spoorloos , Doriet's sister Mirjam agreed with a DNA test. The results arrived in January of this year: Doriet and Mirjam are indeed not biological sisters. 'We had no match at all. I assumed we weren't real sisters, but I was still hoping we might be half-sisters or nieces. It is as if the penny really fell then. Everything is a lie. '

The blow was especially hard for Doriet and Mirjam's mother. 'She really thought we were biological sisters,' says Doriet. Now she too had to conclude that the adoption was probably illegal. Of course you don't want that. My mother was a housewife and didn't know any better. My father arranged the entire adoption. ' Doriet's father died when she was fourteen. "I was never able to ask him anything about this."

Children

Doriet had doubts because of her adoptive past whether she wanted children herself. “I was afraid I might want to give them up,” she explains. "But once you have that child in your arms, you think: what a stupid thought."

Motherhood did give Doriet a new insight, with which she could look at her own adoption in a different way. 'I suddenly realized how desperate a mother must have been to give her child away voluntarily. Of course I don't know if I was taken or if my biological mother didn't want me, but if she gave me away, it must have been very difficult for her. '

'I suddenly realized how desperate a mother must have been to give her child away voluntarily'

It was also a special experience that Doriet saw someone who looked like her for the first time. 'That was quite bizarre, my oldest son looked so much like me. I had never seen anything like it. And not only in appearance, but also in character, even my bad qualities! '

Last attempt

As a last attempt to find her biological family, Doriet made a documentary . The first part of the documentary recently appeared online.

'I hope the film will cross the border and that someone in Indonesia will recognize me. I assume that there is nothing to be found, but if I come on a new track, there may be parts 4 and 5. '

In the first episode Doriet interviews her mother and sister Mirjam, she browses through the adoption file, points out the errors and calls Dutch authorities. She also regularly shows baby photos, in the hope that someone in Indonesia will recognize her.

When my grandchildren later ask if I tried to find my family, I want to be able to say that I did everything. I don't want burnout or depression and I know I have to draw a line somewhere, but I have yet to try this. I don't want to think later: what if I had done this or searched there? I want to know: I did everything I could. '

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