Adopted Danny van der Maas searched and found his family in India

His search took about eight months. In May, he embraced his biological mother and other relatives in India after 34 years. Danny van der Maas (36), who was given up for adoption at the age of 2: "I told my mother that she made a good decision in 1977."

With his story, Van der Maas would like to make it clear that a search for the origins of adopted children - contrary to what is sometimes claimed - can also turn out well. “Before it started to itch for me, I was already around 30 years old. Before that I had no need for it. ”

His parents have always fully supported Van der Maas in his quest. The main reason that Van der Maas wanted to track down his biological family was that he wanted to personally tell his parents that they made a good decision in 1977 to give him up for adoption. “I didn't want them to feel guilty. As a baby, I had an inexplicable growth retardation. My parents didn't have the options to take good care of me. ”

Van der Maas realized what he was getting into when he set out to investigate in September last year. “I too had heard stories of adopted youth whose search ended in great disappointment. I think it is important to start looking only when you yourself are stable, when you have developed your own identity. If you look for that identity in your origins, it can lead to disappointment. At the same time, you don't know in advance what it will do to you when you have found them. ”

In 1975 Van der Maas was born in central India. His biological parents give him up for adoption because they cannot take good care of their little one and because there are concerns about his health. Kees and Jannie van der Maas, who work in the neighborhood on behalf of Woord en Daad, take little Danny and another child, Sarita, into their family.

In 1982 the couple moved with the children to the Netherlands and went to live in Houten. Danny goes through primary school and finishes secondary education. In 1992 Danny leaves with the family for a few years to Indonesia, where father Van der Maas - presently on behalf of the Mission of the Reformed Congregations - becomes a theological teacher and instructor in Ecuador.

In 1994, Van der Maas junior went to De Wittenberg Bible School in Zeist for a year, where he met his wife Karin. After completing the training in social pedagogical assistance, Van der Maas eventually takes on a managerial position at a boarding school in Werkendam. The couple has four children: Cor (13), Jonathan (11), Daniël (6) and Charlotte (10 months).

It is remarkable that Van der Maas' search for his biological parents is going quite well. “My hometown was known. I also knew that an American nurse had turned me over to my parents at the time. With the help of my younger half-brothers Niek and Jos, I got in touch with this woman, who was already 84 years old and now lives in America. She put us on the right track because she told us that my biological parents - who were Christians - had once moved to another village. I then contacted a local pastor. He called me one April afternoon and said, "Danny, I've got your mother on the phone here." I was perplexed. After 34 years I heard her voice. So special. She immediately asked when I would come. ”

It appears to be difficult for Van der Maas to gain the trust of his oldest brother in India. “He had taken over the task of my father, who was no longer alive. I had to prove I was his brother. We emailed photos back and forth from our childhood and we were in constant touch. At one point he asked for my date of birth, February 19, 1975. That date exactly matched that of my twin sister in India. At that moment they knew for sure that I really was their brother. ”

The next morning Van der Maas gets his twin sister on the line. “It was an emotional conversation. For years she has lived with the idea that she had another twin brother. She told me she had missed me all these years. It's special that I have a lot in common with my twin sister, that her children are exactly like ours and that we have many of the same thoughts. ”

In May of this year, Van der Maas travels to India with his two younger brothers to meet the family. "The reunion was emotional and very special." Van der Maas shows a video on his laptop in which he embraces his biological mother. Large banners above the road welcome Danny Paidimukkala. "I never expected such an extremely warm welcome," says Van der Maas. “I was welcomed like a prince. The reunification was in three newspapers and was also seen on television. ”

A photo shows how Van der Maas's Indian mother is holding a Bible. “It is the English Bible of my late father. I read it in a church service that we attended together shortly after our arrival. That was very impressive. It was read from Isaiah 43, where verse 6 says: “I will say to the north, Give; and to the south: Do not hold back; bring My sons from afar, and My daughters from the ends of the earth. ” I am very grateful to the Lord God for allowing me to meet my biological family. ”

Van der Maas currently has a lot of contact with his twin sister in India. “She bought a computer and we call daily via Skype. I think it's a shame that there is literally such a distance between us. My family has grown a lot, but you can't just have a cup of coffee with them. There is also a cultural difference. The relatives in India are my own flesh and blood, yet I am forced to communicate with them in English. ”

Next summer, Van der Maas may want to go to India with his whole family. “I would also like to show my twin sister where I grew up and where I live now. I now know how they live and what concerns them on a daily basis. It would be great if they would experience the church service in our Reformed congregation in Berkenwoude on a Sunday. ”

This is the second episode of a diptych on adoption.

The feeling of being a real father and mother

Jerry (34) and Mireille (28) Mostert, the proud parents of Manuelle, a 4-year-old who has been adopted from Kenya, will leave for Kenya at the end of August to pick up another child from the country. On behalf of the Gereformeerde Zendingsbond they will be doing voluntary work there at the same time. "We are getting a brother or sister for Manuelle and that is why we want to give something back to the country," says Jerry. “When adopting in Kenya, it is mandatory to spend six months with the adopted child in the home country. This way, a child can get used to us in their own familiar environment. At the same time, we as parents learn a lot about the culture and origins of our child. That's why we just set aside a year to make ourselves useful there. ”

Mireille emphasizes that a second adopted child from Kenya is not a replacement for a child of her own, but a fulfillment of a wish. "It is a blessing to have and raise children, a task that you as a mother and father are happy to take on."

In 2008 Manuelle arrived. “It is also great for her to have a brother or sister,” says her mother. “She is really looking forward to it. She has asked so many times for a brother or sister. ”

Jerry: “It wouldn't be good for her development if she didn't have other brothers or sister around her. It is nice and familiar for her to get someone in our family with the same origin. Suppose the two later wanted to track down their biological families. Then they can go together nicely. ”

Mireille and Jerry are happy that their daughter Manuelle is developing well, both socially and emotionally. “From the adoption course we have always been told that it is important to talk to her a lot about her origins, that she still has biological parents and a sister in Kenya. Of course she gets more and more questions now that she's getting older. ”

According to her mother, Manuelle even jokes about her skin color on a regular basis. Jerry: “It is funny to see that she feels like a fish in water among white children. But when she sees children with a dark skin color, she automatically draws towards them. ”

Despite Manuelle not being a biological daughter, the girl really sees Jerry and Mireille as her parents. The couple does that well. "That way she makes us feel like we are really like a mother and father to her."

How would the Mosterts feel if their adopted children later wanted to track down their biological families? Jerry: “We have already received many tips in the course on how to deal with this. We would have no problem with that. ” Mireille would like to have contact with Manuel's biological mother even now. "I would like to give her a letter from Manuelle and I would ask her for some recent photos, because we only have a passport photo at the moment."

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