EXCLUSIVE: Adoption is the most beautiful feeling in the world, says choreographer Shabina Khan

Being a mother is not just a relation but an emotion. This Mother’s Day we got in touch with Bollywood choreographer, Shabina Khan, who is currently in news for her latest work, ‘Dil De Diya’ from Radhe. The idea was to shift the limelight from her personal achievements to something she seldom speaks about: her personal life, motherhood and adoption. Excerpts from the interview:

Adoption is a great choice but our society still has inhibitions about it. When you were making the decision, did this bother you?

Everybody knows that a good deed, is a good deed. But not everyone has the courage to do it. I was very young around 9–10-year-old when I told my mother that I will adopt 5 girls. The reason behind the number was that we're five siblings, so I always told her that I'll adopt 5 girls. My mother asked me if I don't want my kids. To which I replied: I want my kids, but that shouldn't stop me from adopting. That's a different thing. I'll have my child, with my adopted babies and will raise them equally. This is a true symbol of humanity.

I met lot of people who believe in adoption. I've also seen families who are blessed with a child after an adoption, and they raise both kids equally. After I adopted my first baby, the joy that she brought to us was hard to describe in words. At the same time, me and my husband both felt that we had so much more love to give, and wanted to give a family to another child. That's when we adopted my son. My two kids now share an unbreakable sibling bond, and are the pride and joy of our lives.

What is that one message you would like to give it to people who want to adopt?

Please go for adoption. It's the most beautiful feeling in this world. You know, taking responsibility of an adopted child and giving them love is service to God. It's the best thing that can happen to you.

How easy or difficult it is in the beginning?

It's not easy, especially for a workaholic person like me. I went to the set on the next day of my marriage. I love working around the hour and travelling. So, after (my daughter) Dua entered my life, there was a 360-degree change. Initially, it was a task for me to be around the kid 24X7. I had kept nannies for her. But then I understood that she's too young. For the first four months I took good care of her. As my mother told me to develop a connect with the child. This is the primary step, to make connection with the kid. When someone gives birth to kid, they have been connected for 9 months. But when you adopt a kid, you have to develop a connection in the first four months.

So, I didn't do any work for the first four months. Me and my husband were there to create a bond with the child. Even the process of developing a connection is beautiful. After forming a connect, you have to compromise with your sleep, with your personal life, with everything. And it's natural. Things change but it happens for good. You can't describe the love you receive from the kid; it can only be experienced. A child gives birth to a mother and I have felt the same. My daughter gave birth to a mother in me. The way the baby looks at you is pricelessly beautiful.

Sushmita Sen, Raveena Tandon have adopted kids and are great role models. What would you like to say about them?

Both Sushmita and Raveena are being a part of my life in a big way. When I was working as an assistant choreographer to Ganesh Acharya, and I was teaching Sushmita for a famous dance number. By that time, she had already adopted a baby. She used to shoot and then go and check on her child. She told me about the adoption and that was the time when I felt inspired from her. Being a miss universe and a megastar, she was so happy with her decision to adopt. When it comes to Raveena Tandon, I respect her lot, as she pushed me to become an independent choreographer.

She (Raveena) had adopted kids and upon meeting her I realised that how beautiful it feels to give life to someone. She was single and still she was called a mother. These ladies were my role models; and tomorrow I want to be someone else's.

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