LUCA, SINGLE AND GAY, ADOPTED ALBA WHO HAS DOWN: 'I KNEW WE BELONGED TOGETHER'

Luca Trapanese is a single gay man living in conservative southern Italy. Not the most ideal circumstances to adopt a child. Yet he has been the father of Alba, a girl who has Down syndrome, for almost four years. A video of the two together recently went viral.

“When I first saw Alba, I knew she was my daughter and I was her father.” After more than three years, Luca (44) can still be moved by it. “I knew we belonged together.”

ALBA

Alba was just thirty days old when Luca first held her in her arms. She was left in the hospital by her mother. Alba's birth mother didn't think she could handle caring for a child with a disability. She chose to give up the girl. “A brave choice that is regulated by law,” says Luca on the phone. “I have nothing to say about that. She has the right to choose. Most importantly, she left Alba in a protected environment.”

Luca is a lot less positive about the sixteen families that did not want to adopt Alba. “There is still too much fear of children with disabilities. It's a taboo.” The fact that the Italian government often leaves parents of disabled children to their own devices does not help either.

LUCA

Luca Trapanese was born and raised in Naples. From a young age he is involved with the less fortunate of this world. He frequently travels to developing countries and sets up a foundation in his home city that focuses on the care of disabled children. He discovers early on that he likes men, but his Catholic family doesn't mind. Luca is also a practicing Catholic and, according to her own words, grew up 'spiritually' in Lourdes. He always wanted to be a father. "That's a wish I've had for a long time."

In a country that considers the 'traditional family' the only situation in which a child can grow up, his choice is remarkable. “I think society is beyond politics, says Luca with conviction. “The country is lagging behind in legal terms, the 'alternative' families have been around for a long time. Like blended families, families with two fathers or two mothers, but legally they don't exist.”

In the case of gay couples, the non-biological parent has no more rights than the nanny under Italian law. Still, as a single gay man, Luca had surprisingly little trouble adopting Alba. “Fortunately, I had an intelligent judge,” says Luca. “After he saw that I was mentally well, had a house and a stable income and could count on my family as a safety net, the way was open for adoption.”

TO ADOPT

The judge ruled that Alba was better off in a family than in a home and did everything possible to find a suitable place for the girl. After Alba was rejected by a slew of potential adoptive families, it was Luca who was allowed to adopt her. “I feel it as a privilege. Not like I saved Alba, as some people think.”

The choice turned his life completely upside down in a short time. “I had seven days to prepare for fatherhood.” Fortunately, the young father can count on the support of two cousins ??and his mother. “That little one has them all wrapped up.”

Alba is now a happy whirlwind of four. She has been in kindergarten for a few weeks now. That gives Luca a little more free time and he does need it. “Alba is a tricky one. She is very determined and stubborn. A bit like me.”

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