They now know for sure: they are full sisters and are committed to their native Nepal
WIERDEN/RIJSSEN - Two sisters from Nepal are adopted at a young age by different Dutch families. What is the chance that they will live close to each other in Twente? Sanumaya Lensen (43) and Shanti Tuinstra (44) found each other in Rijssen.
Sanumaya and Shanti were both adopted in 1979 and 1980, but not by the same Dutch parents. It has only been a few years since they officially confirmed that they are biological sisters, after they had a DNA test. "But we already felt it. We were both told that we had a sister in the Netherlands."
Dads knew each other
Sanumaya came to her adoptive parents in Rijssen in December 1979 as a toddler of 1.5 years, Shanti a few months later at the age of 3 in Enschede. “Our fathers knew each other,” says Shanti. “My father worked in Rijssen, and we later moved there too. Every day I cycled past Sanumaya's house on my way to my school in Nijverdal. One day, when it was her birthday, I brought a present.”
Our bond has become much closer since we have proof that we are really sisters, it's magical
Shanti Tuinstra
And since then, the two have been in contact, without knowing that they are sisters. “Our bond has become much closer since we have proof that we are really sisters. In April 2018 we did a DNA test and in May we had certainty. It's magical, our contact has changed. At one time my biological mother was also your mother”, Shanti tells Sanumaya.
looking for mother
In the past, they both went looking for their mother in Nepal. Shanti was in her native country for the first time in 1997 as a student. “I was not looking for my roots at the time, but I did want to go to the home in Kathmandu where I had been taken at the time. There I was not shown my own papers, but those of my sister. It was my first introduction to Nepal. I heard about an uncle who had brought me in, but he no longer lived there.”
Annoying experience
Sanumaya went on a trip to the country in 2000, along with her husband. She also visited the Bal Mandir home where both girls had been left behind one after the other. “I went there to find my family, but there were no leads. The funny thing is that I got the papers from Shanti then.”
After an unpleasant experience in which a woman was forced to pretend to be her mother, Sanumaya no longer needed it. “They hoped to get money from me that way. Fortunately, we found out in time through an interpreter, but the disappointment was so great that I let it go.”
When I got pregnant, my search really started
Shanti Tuinstra
In the meantime, Shanti had lived for seven months in eastern Nepal to study anthropology, together with her future husband. “I didn't feel the need to look for my family then. But that period has been very valuable in retrospect. I wasn't so naive anymore, I knew a lot more about the country and the people who live there. My search really started when I was pregnant. I prepared well mentally for it. In 2018 I left for Nepal with the mission to find my mother. I meditated a lot, did yoga. During such a session I had twice 'seen' a granny with a red sweater. I had to find her.”
long search
In the file that was in her sister's attic, it turned out that there were some leads. With that, Shanti started her long search in Kathmandu. She found out that two men in a jeep had taken the girls to the home. With the help of a local councilor and his mother, she found a trail. “We went to a homeless shelter for the elderly. They all shouted: 'my daughter, my daughter', that was very oppressive and intense. There I saw in a photo the grandmother of my meditation. I didn't know how I was. I was told that this woman had died four months before my arrival. I was in complete shock.”
fake name
“It was very frustrating that I couldn't finish my search at that time. I had to go back to the Netherlands first. After that I went back to Nepal as soon as possible. Then I found out the name and whereabouts of an uncle. He had given a false name, but through the councilor I now knew his real name. We found him on Facebook, but he didn't want to be reminded of the time he brought us to the home. His wife should be our father's sister. She does have a trauma, but whether that has to do with the whole situation, we don't know."
In the meantime, it was clear to the sisters that 'the grandmother' in the homeless shelter could not be their mother. According to the stories, that woman would have had only one baby. So the search isn't over yet. “In photos we see similarities with the aunt in Canada, also in our children. Of course we hope that our mother is still alive and that we can still find her. For now, it remains a mystery.”
Foundation established
To help the people in their native country, Sanumaya Lensen and Shanti Tuinstra have set up the Sarangi Foundation. Especially now that corona is hitting hard there, they are putting their shoulders to the wheel together. There are 10,000 paracetamols and 60,000 mouth caps ready for areas in Nepal. But sending the relief supplies is currently not an option. “The shipping costs are very high at the moment, because there are few planes going. Moreover, as a private individual you are not allowed to send medicines by post,” says Shanti Tuinstra.
The foundation was established to strengthen and make Nepalese communities more sustainable. “We do this by selling shopping bags made from recycled PET bottles by women who come from vulnerable situations. And also by planting trees. We have already sold thousands of bags through the Rotary Rijssen Regge Region. And recently a campaign at the Kluinveenschool in Wierden raised 210 euros, which can be used to plant 21 trees.”
“When the corona crisis broke out, we set up an emergency fund and built water wells. We also had mouth caps made. There is now another outbreak making it difficult to help with goods. That is why we want to send money for the food camper that distributes food among the poor population. It is now important to help the people there again. More money is needed so we hope people will donate through our website.”
”