After many problems, the couple pushes their baby in the arms of the notary: 'I am deeply moved'

Guys they are, but nice guys. They want to crown their years of love with a child, a baby of their own. But how do you get a baby as a gay couple? Adoption is the only option.

Because they absolutely want a baby of their own, an older child is not adopted and they have to look for a surrogate mother. He will, inseminated with the semen of one of the two, give birth to a child and give it to them after birth. The search for a suitable surrogate mother begins.

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They do not like a Dutch surrogate mother. Friends of those who have chosen this path had to deal with a surrogate mother after the birth of their child, who started to act very difficult. A surrogate mother from an Asian country is also not an option. It is true that you can find one relatively cheaply and easily in countries such as Thailand or Vietnam, but the young and poor women who act as surrogate mothers are often exploited. They don't want to cooperate.

On their quest they end up in the United States. There, surrogacy is well regulated by law and, as far as is known, there is no exploitation of women. A surrogacy followed by an adoption will be very expensive in the US, but because both men have a good salary, they can afford it.

Shortly after their return, the corona pandemic breaks out, paralyzing global air traffic. Flying to America is no longer there

A reliable American adoption agency will find a suitable surrogate mother. Under US rules, only one of the two can formally become the father. The agency demands that he show a will that shows that the affairs for the child are excellently arranged. They come to me for that. After some thinking and research, I draw up a conclusive will for both the future father and his husband. The adoption agency agrees.

In February 2020, the two will leave for the United States, where the physical part of the transaction will be completed. Shortly after their return to the Netherlands, the corona pandemic breaks out, which paralyzes global air traffic. Flying to America is no longer an option for a while.

In the meantime, administrative matters still need to be arranged in the US. Because the courts there are closed due to corona, the procedure takes much longer than usual. The two have almost daily contact with the US, but it remains uncertain for a long time whether it will all work out in time.

It works. They will return to Schiphol at the end of 2020, overjoyed and welcomed by a large group of friends and family. A few weeks later they come to show me their new family member. ,,This is her,'' one says proudly, while the other pushes a cloud of a baby in my arms. I am deeply moved

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