Adopted Linn found her mother and brother in Sri Lanka after 35 years

Suddenly he appeared on the screen, the man who was her brother! Sarath, who became completely desperate when she was adopted 35 years earlier. Finally, Linn Sjöbäck had traced her roots in Sri Lanka. And now she would also get to talk to her biological mother…

Linn Sjöbäck grew up wondering about his roots. She had several siblings who were also adopted, but she did not share her curiosity and desire to know more. She wanted to know more, much more.

- I have had a need to get a background that they may not have had and my parents have always supported me in this, says Linn.

She was adopted to Sweden from Sri Lanka when she was only 14 months old, in 1985. Her biological mother was present at the handover and no orphanage was ever included in the picture, which is perhaps more common.

- There were real documents and court proceedings. When I got the chance to check this, I was relieved that everything went right. I had become a little worried after all the writing about kidnapped children in the 80's, says Linn.

This is Linn

Name: Linn Sjöbäck

Age: 37 years

Lives: Kållered

Family: Cohabitant, three children aged 4, 12 and 13.

But she still wanted to know more and maybe meet her biological mother. With all the facts she already had, she thought it would be pretty easy.

- I was really malnourished when I came to Sweden and was unusually weak. Could neither sit up nor walk at all. It created a curiosity about how my life has been before, says Linn.

But it would not be until 2008 that she made a real effort to investigate her origins.

- I had just given birth to my first daughter and it triggered me more, says Linn.

Searched for Traceless

She applied to participate in the television program Spårlöst and told her story. But then she heard nothing. Instead, she got in touch with a woman who did research for the program on an earlier occasion in Sri Lanka.

- I understood that it was very difficult to get into the program because so many applied there. But unfortunately I did not get to know anything new through this woman either, says Linn.

She gave up her attempts temporarily. Later, she was called by someone from the TV show who wanted to know more, but again this time it was quiet. Linn's case did not work out.

- I was really very disappointed there around the years 2012–2013 and realized that I needed to go to Sri Lanka to make my own attempt. Then it still was not a trip right then, says Linn.

Her struggle was supported by her family, although her siblings, three of whom were also adopted, did not have the same interest in looking for roots.

- It is important for me to really explain that I have always felt enormously grateful. I have had the luck of the world who came to Sweden and had such a wonderful family. It's really not a pity about me in any way, but I'm of a curious nature, says Linn.

Linn was adopted to Sweden from Sri Lanka when she was only 14 months old. Here she is seen with her biological mother and her adoptive mother.

She describes herself as an emotional person with a great interest in music and dance. Racism or exclusion was not something she directly had problems with while growing up, although she now understands afterwards that it was completely different times when she was alone in having a darker skin color in class.

- I was never allowed to be Lucia. Instead, my teacher wanted me to be gingerbread at every Christmas performance. It was outrageous of course, but she just thought I fit so well, she said, says Linn and continues:

- I did not want dark hair then, but was there anyway because I loved to perform and stand on stage, even if it was like gingerbread in the Lucia train.

Song for the mother

The older she got, the more she wanted to continue with music and dance. In high school, it became the aesthetic program.

As a result, she wrote a song for her biological mother six years ago, which was recorded in a professional studio.

- I put the music together with a video game with pictures that I had of my mother and I got many nice reactions, Linn remembers.

She realized that it was time to really get serious about her thoughts on leaving or at least trying to get more information from home. Just leaving was not the easiest thing to do because she had children and a family.

- In the autumn of 2020, I joined a Facebook group for adoptees from Sri Lanka and India. There I wrote a post and asked if anyone could help me find my biological family. It was a huge response. I was completely bombarded with answers, Linn smiles.

Through the group, she also got in a way a different kind of family that knew exactly what she was feeling and looking for. They had knowledge of her country of birth and experiences from searching for their biological families. In addition, they were more than happy to share their stories.

There were many phone calls and in the end Linn got in touch with Buddhini, an interpreter and local guide who helped the recording team from the program Spårlöst. In this way she also got hold of her birth certificate, which in turn gave her information that she had two biological siblings and that there was also a name for her biological father.

Now Linn knew enough to keep looking.

- I soon got in touch with the association Sri Lanka Reunited and they first found two aunts who in turn had a phone number for my biological big brother. Unfortunately, they had broken contact with my mother, so I had to pick up that track later, Linn explains.

A first video call

But with this help, everything went faster than she could ever hope for. Linn was suddenly in a video call with her brother and an interpreter.

- When my brother Sarath appeared on the screen, it was obvious. I thought we were very similar, says Linn.

It was no wonder he became very sad when I was suddenly not there

She asked lots of questions and soon realized that this was the most important phone call in her life. At the same time, it felt strange that it was completely natural to talk to someone with whom she did not share language or culture.

- Sarath was six years old when I was left behind so he really remembered me and he was very hurt when I disappeared. He had taken care of me when my mother was working and that responsibility was probably tough for a six-year-old. It was no wonder that he became very sad when I suddenly was not there, says Linn.

What was also tough was that he was left alone when his two younger sisters were left behind. He was left alone with an alcoholic and abusive father.

- He has some luggage from that time. But at the same time he is happy that I escaped it because as he said to me: "As a girl you had not managed", says Linn.

The slightly more gratifying news was that Sarath shared Linn's interest in music and that he had children the same age as hers. He also said that he often went to the Buddhist temple and prayed that he would see his sisters again one day. Then he also arranged for Linn to get in touch with their common mother.

- I can go there and talk to her first, he told me and then there was a video call with her as well, says Linn.

- "Hello, are you my daughter", were her first words. Then she started crying and said "sorry, sorry". She explained to me that she felt she had to adopt me to save me from her husband. Save my life. "Your father was a bad man," she said.

Linn felt relieved to understand why she was left behind and also grateful for the life she had in Sweden. Through lots of conversations since then, she has learned more and more about what her brother grew up with.

Then she started crying and said "sorry, sorry"

- It has been a trauma for him. He has cried a lot. It's a terrible fate, but today he has a pretty good life with his family. He works as a Marine, says Linn.

Regular contact

She herself, on the other hand, only feels joy at having found a brother who looks like her and who has been able to tell about her first year.

- Sarath said that I always used to stick my tongue out at him. I continued with that in Sweden then. There is photo evidence, she laughs.

Today, Linn has contact with her brother's both children and they write to her regularly.

- I'm a bit like an idol to them and they send very polite messages with hearts and flowers, says Linn.

At the same time, it can be a challenge for Linn who likes to take the time to get to know someone.

- They are loving right away. It will be strange for me who wants to build a relationship slowly, she explains.

Linn has also had regular contact with her biological mother. She had remarried to a Dutchman which gave her better finances and she now lives in a nice house that she inherited when her husband passed away.

- She has four dogs and two cats in her big house and it is possible thanks to her husband's pension which is still paid. That may be why it has cut itself with part of the family. Maybe they think she should share, Linn reasoned.

She has plans to visit them all, but it will be when the situation stabilizes with the pandemic. So far, she has memories of her only visit to Sri Lanka, which she made with her parents when she was eleven in 1995.

- It is a very beautiful country. I remember that and I remember the elephants and the palm trees. I long to return, says Linn.

The goal is also to get in touch with the sister who was adopted to Holland and also with her biological father.

Meanwhile, she tries to digest that in a short time she has had a larger family added to her already large family in Sweden. She has three children who have also been given new names by relatives to add to their world.

- It is a completely new future, you could say.

Adopted - to search for their roots

As an adoptee, searching for their biological parents and / or going back to their country of origin is called a return trip.

It is important to keep in mind that this journey is also often an inner journey. Many emotions can be aroused and it is not uncommon to see oneself in a slightly different way afterwards.

The trip can also be disappointing if you do not manage to find your biological family or if it may not turn out to be everything you hoped for.

Not all adoptees are interested in finding their origin. But many people wonder who their biological parents were or what city they were born in. It is also common for thoughts to come when you have children of your own or if someone in the family dies.

There is an authority that checks that all adoptions in and to Sweden take place in accordance with the law and the principle of the best interests of the child in the Convention on the Rights of the Child. It is called MFoF, the Swedish Agency for Family Law and Parental Support. You can turn there if you have questions about adoptions.

If you are adopted, you have the right to know where you come from. A good start can be to ask your parents for memories and documents.

Then you can use groups on Facebook or search for associations with other adoptees from the same country.

Source: Barnombudsmannen.se and others.

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