'Leave Me Alone': Internet Backs Woman Who Wants 'No Contact' With Biological Daughter
One woman's story of not wanting to have a relationship with her biological daughter sparked a conversation on social media about the challenges that arise with adoptions.
Shared in Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" forum by the anonymous user u/unwantedchoice_78, the post amassed over 6,000 upvotes and 1,200 comments at the time of writing.
Specifically, u/unwantedchoice_78 wrote about her experience with a "closed" adoption—one where "the adoptive family and the birth parents will never have to see each other again," and the child has no contact with their biological parents. Today, closed adoptions are relatively rare, consisting of only about five percent of all modern adoptions.
In her post, the self-identified 38-year-old woman explains that at the age of 15, she had a baby who she gave up in a closed adoption. "I don't want children and was made to birth her after becoming pregnant," she wrote.
But recently, her biological daughter, now 23, has attempted to contact her. "I've ... began receiving numerous messages via social media and letters from my bio daughter," wrote the woman.
"I'll be honest," she added. "I wasn't thrilled nor interested in communication so I simply mailed her a letter stating my intention to have no contact besides exchanging medical history."
Despite attempting to resolve the issue, the woman's saga continued. "Fast forward to last December, I noticed someone following me around the supermarket," she wrote.
Made uncomfortable by the situation, she said she "quickly checked out and ran for [her] car." Before she could make it, she heard a voice yell, "Wait!"
She then realized that the person who was following her was, in fact, her biological daughter—so she"[ducked] behind some cars" before hopping in her car to avoid her.
"She tapped on my window and begged to talk and I yelled at her to 'leave me alone,'" concluded the woman in her post. "She cried [as] I drove away, and [I] have since received a barrage of hate from her family."
The post generated intense conversation among readers, most of whom expressed empathy for the woman's difficult situation.
"She's stalking you and that's not ok," said u/Dszquphsbnt in a comment that received over 10,000 upvotes.
"This is a tragic situation all around. You aren't wrong for wanting no contact with her," said u/Badger-of-Horrors. "And while it might be nice for her if this had a storybook ending ... life isn't a movie."
Others emphasized how this situation might be bringing up painful, traumatic memories for the woman—thus underscoring her need for strict boundaries with respect to her biological child.
"I'm sorry you were forced to go through pregnancy and childbirth against your will at 15 years old. That's absolutely horrific," said u/Palsticine_Porters. "Given the circumstances, the closed adoption was the best choice."
Newsweek has reached out to u/unwantedchoice_78 for additional comment but did not receive a response in time for publication.