She kept a secret during her song - and it was a matter of life and death

27-year-old Meseret Tesfamichael's song choice in 'X Factor' reflected the difficult situation she and her family were in the middle of.

On the outside, Meseret Tesfamichael radiated calm.

In this year's bootcamp, which airs Friday night on TV 2, the 27-year-old 'X Factor' contestant stepped in front of Judge Thomas Blachman in a floor-length white dress and bare toes.

If I first opened up, I knew I would crack

Meseret Tesfamichael

With his rendition, Ben E. King's soul classic 'Stand by me' hoped to impress him. But another - and more important - reason for the song choice she kept to herself.

Neither the team behind 'X Factor' nor the referee knew about the concerns, which made her sensitive and tearful.

- It may be that I was standing there in a glamorous dress, but no one knew what I was going through. If I first opened up, I knew I would crack, she tells TV 2 today.

When the recordings for the bootcamp took place back in November 2021, she had no idea if her biological father and sister were safe. Whether they were alive at all.

They were in the middle of a conflict over 6000 kilometers from Denmark.

Precisely 'Stand by me' could convey Meseret Tesfamichael's difficult feelings - and bring the message that is closest to her heart in 'X Factor'.

A family in danger

To be able to understand what was at stake for Meseret Tesfamichael, it requires an understanding of her past and family.

She describes herself as having two of a kind: She has her adoptive mother and sister, who came into her life when she came to Denmark at the age of eight.

And then she has her biological family in the East African country of Ethiopia.

Mezeret Tesfamichael's mood was strongly influenced during bootcamp and she felt she would cry if she talked about her family's situation. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

For over two years, the northernmost region of the country has been at war. Violence, hunger and insecurity forced her father and sister to flee in 2021.

- It has been intense for many months. Up until bootcamp I could not get hold of them over the phone. I have lost a lot of sleep over it, because I did not really know what their situation was like, says Meseret Tesfamichael.

At the same time, she knew her father was very ill, and it haunted her thoughts that he might not survive.

Although Meseret Tesfamichael has now lived in Denmark for two thirds of her life, the relationship with her biological family fills a lot. She describes it as absolutely crucial for her to understand herself and thrive today.

Because she was eight years old when she was adopted, the mental images of the country of birth are still clear. Everything from the paths at the military base where her father worked, to the strict teachers at the school, she remembers.

We made our own 'Traceless'

Meseret Tesfamichael

However, she also remembers the feeling that death was ubiquitous. She had to flee for her life several times during riots and the closest came when, as a six-year-old, she suddenly lost her mother to illness.

Hoping to give her youngest daughter a better life, her father chose to adopt her away.

This picture depicts Meseret Tesfamichael's father. - I had the adoption explained as if I could always come back to my family. It was very romanticized and I had a notion that I was going on a trip to Hollywood, she says. Photo: Private photo

- I think my father is a great person. I am a mother myself and know how basic the need is to have her child close by, says Meseret Tesfamichael and adds:

- I have had a privileged life with security and education that I otherwise could only dream of.

However, the trauma and separation from his family has also been the root of some extremely ambivalent emotions.

A new everyday life in Denmark

In his first years in Denmark, Meseret Tesfamichael had a hard time connecting with his Danish mother.

- It was difficult for me to make room for new people. I understood well that it was my new family, but I was very aware that I had been separated from my previous life, she says.

Meseret when she came to Denmark from Ethiopia. Her adoptive mother was single and had a 16-year-old daughter in advance. Photo: Private photo

In three months, she learned Danish and adapted to everyday life with her classmates in Midtsjælland.

But part of her felt empty, she describes. The need to understand her cultural background in Ethiopia grew as she got older.

She needed to braid her curly hair like the women of Ethiopia, but she did not know who could help. She needed to see someone who had the same dark skin and meet someone where she did not have to constantly “explain” why she was the way she was.

- I have longed for something that was associated with great guilt. Because I had to say to my Danish mother: “I love you, I do not leave you and I am grateful for your love. But I need more.

Meseret Tesfamichael for 6 Chair Challenge. As a child, she sang in church with her father, so music has always been a part of her life. However, it was not until she was a teenager that she started performing. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

It took almost five years before she dared - and was able - to say it out loud. And it was that courage that ultimately enabled her as a 13-year-old to embrace her father again.

On the one hand, Meseret Tesfamichael wanted to be closer to her Danish mother and felt privileged, but on the other hand, it required an understanding of her origin and recognition, to build her identity.

The crucial meeting

Through a network of Ethiopian contacts, her Danish mother managed to find him and arrange a visit to the African country.

- We made our own 'Traceless', says Meseret Tesfamichael and laughs.

- I was really nervous and vulnerable before the meeting. Had he thought of me at all? As soon as I saw him, I forgot. He said, "I love you" in my native language and called me the nickname Missy, which no one else has called me. There I felt at home, for he was as I remembered.

The meeting also confirmed Meseret Tesfamichael in that her longing to know her background is completely legitimate. And her Danish mother does not experience it as a failure or ingratitude, but has supported her all the way.

When Meseret Tesfamichael was a child, her Danish classmates could tease her that she "did not have a real mother". Today she says with confidence that she has both a Danish and an Ethiopian mother. Photo: Private photo

She can easily have two families. It makes her whole, and has given her a balance between her Danish life and Ethiopian background.

Although the identity crisis has not disappeared like dew from the sun, it helps her process what she has been through.

- I relax more in myself. And my Danish mother and sister understand me better because they have experienced the place I come from, she says.

Has had contact for 14 years

Since then, Meseret Tesfamichael has been in contact with her father and sister.

They have kept each other updated in letters, text messages and over the phone a few times a year and she has visited them twice in Ethiopia.

Meseret Tesfamichael got a chair for the 6 Chair Challenge as one of the soloists over 23 years. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Meseret's mother and daughter of almost three years cheered on her in the front row. Having a child has made Meseret think about what she is passing on. She passes on both Danish and Ethiopian culture, just as she makes sure that her daughter gets the safe environment she herself lacked in childhood. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Although her identity crisis has not disappeared like dew from the sun, it helps her process what she has been through.

- I relax more in myself. And my Danish mother and sister understand me better because they had experienced the place I come from, she says.

Therefore, it was extremely hard when, before filming for the bootcamp in 'X Factor', she suddenly lost touch with her father.

It's the best message I've ever received in my life

Meseret Tesfamichael

She set up a professional private detective to find out where her father and sister were after the escape.

But on the day of her important 'X Factor' appearance, there was still no news.

A song in honor of his family

Due to the uncertain situation, Meseret Tesfamichael felt that her choice of song was particularly symbolic. For her, 'Stand by me' is about community. It's about taking care of each other.

"I had to choose something that was close to my heart because my family in Ethiopia was challenged," says Meseret. Here she sits, waiting to sing for Thomas Blachman. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Despite cultural differences, or how we look, we can all relate to emotions such as longing, sadness, fear and love.

- That's my message. What you see on the outside rarely tells our story. What binds us together is that we can basically relate to the same thing.

At the same time, she knew what her father would have said if they had been able to talk together:

"If you dream of something, never give up, no matter how worried you are," Meseret Tesfamichael quotes his father.

Meseret Tesfamichael generally uses music as therapy. - I love conveying emotions in songs, she says. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Thomas Blachman thinks she has a unique sound. In bootcamp, she is up against 31-year-old Maria Ranum Isaksen. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Today - two months after the bootcamp footage - she has finally gained certainty about the family's fate.

Her family is safe

January 9 this year, she received a message from the private detective. A good message.

Her father and sister are okay.

- They have been moved to another part of the country by the state. I do not know further yet, but I know they are safe, says Meseret Tesfamichael.

- It's the best message I've ever received in my life.

She looks forward to talking to them again. And she sincerely hopes that the political situation in Ethiopia will improve soon. Also so her father can concentrate on his health.

Next to 'X Factor', Meseret Tesfamichael lives on Vestamager with her daughter of almost three years. In addition to following her dream of making music, she will be studying Business and Innovation after the summer, and she would like to work in the legal world. Photo: Lasse Lagoni / TV 2

Although Meseret Tesfamichael in Friday's 'X Factor' does not tell what really affected her, the most important thing for her is that she was able to communicate her message in the song.

- I feel I have achieved my goal and done well. And it was actually a bit like pain relief to be involved and do what I love the most, she says.

She hopes her story can help others who have an identity crisis because of their cultural background.

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