Adoptions in Bavaria: the long wait for a desired child

Although there are few adoptive children in Bavaria, many couples want to adopt. A lengthy process with an uncertain outcome. But the chances are increasing, because applications have been steadily declining for years.

When the phone rings and the youth welfare office is there, Jonathan and Yvonne Lodziana from Memmingen could suddenly be parents. "It's like when you're pregnant and you think: Oh God, tomorrow it can start from the due date. We just can't prepare for it," says 30-year-old Yvonne. The couple has been waiting in vain for an adopted child for a year.

Adopt as Plan A

"We considered whether we would never want to have a child of our own, so we absolutely need it. And then we said: We can also help a child," explains Yvonne. For the couple, the question was always: "Why not actually adopt?" adds Jonathan. The two are prepared: their guest room already has everything a baby needs. A cot, toys and a changing table.

Over 100 children put up for adoption each year

And this despite the fact that statistically her chances of adopting a stranger's child from Bavaria don't seem that great. 107 children are put up for adoption in Bavaria every year – if you use the average since 2010. Compared to adoption applications, that's a small number of children. The Bavarian State Youth Welfare Office justifies this with better financial and educational support for potentially giving parents. In addition, single parents are more socially accepted these days. In addition, according to the youth welfare office, fewer children are born as a result of unwanted pregnancies.

Fewer and fewer adoption applications

Around five intended parents are currently applying for an adoptive child. In 2020, Yvonne and Jonathan Lodziana had 623 competitors across Bavaria. At the same time, 119 children were put up for adoption. Ten years earlier, there were almost twice as many applications, but about the same number of children. A ratio of one to ten. Seen in this way, the chances of a placement have increased. The Bavarian State Youth Welfare Office attributes the fact that the number of adoption applicants has steadily decreased in recent years to other options for fulfilling a desire to have children, such as developments in reproductive medicine .

Criteria for adoptive parents

A decision forever that must be well chosen. "One principle in adoption is always: we look for parents for the child, not the other way around," says Veronika Himmelstoss. She is a social worker and has been working in the adoption agency in the district of Straubing for over 30 years. She has set criteria for selecting adoptive parents. For example, the willingness to openly deal with the adoption, health, a stable partnership or space in the apartment.

Important: Appreciation of the giving mother

The character traits of the adoptive parents must also be right. For example , a certain willingness to take risks and tolerance for other ways of life, also towards the giving mother. "If a woman thinks I can't take good care of the child. Or it's a child from a rape and I can't accept the child emotionally. Then it's a very responsible decision to say I'm putting the child in good hands." , explains the social worker.

Trend towards open adoption

According to the Bavarian Youth Welfare Office, there is a trend towards more open forms of adoption. "This completely anonymous taboo of an incognito adoption is actually not good for families," says Veronika Himmelstoss. The new Adoption Assistance Act has been in force for almost a year now, which further strengthens the "right to knowledge of one's parentage". It is now planned for biological parents and adoptive families to discuss whether and how contact or an exchange of information about the development of the child should take place.

Waiting for the adopted child

Yvonne and Jonathan from Memmingen have been in the application and waiting process for over two years now. "A thought that helps when the call doesn't come: Then you assume that the children are doing well at the moment," says Jonathan. Since they are from Memmingen and are tied to their youth welfare office, which mediates in the vicinity, it also depends very much on the region. In rural Memmingen there is an average of one adopted child every two years. An alternative for the couple would probably be a foster child - there are more children in Bavaria than applications.

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