Woman Shares 'Traumatizing' Reasons Why Adoption Is a 'Scam'

A woman went viral for recalling her trauma as an adopted child as discussions around adoption became more prevalent with the overturning of Roe v. Wade by the U.S. Supreme Court.

The woman, known as @alyxstone33, posted the TikTok on Saturday where it received more than 410,000 views and 2,300 comments.

"Adoption is a scam," the on-screen text read over a duet with another creator's video. In the original video, user @debtcollective asked: "what's a scam that's become so normalized that we don't even realize it's a scam anymore?"

Adoptions by the Numbers

According to the Adoption Network, no more than 2 percent of Americans have adopted, meaning only 1 in 50 children are adopted. Data from 2020 estimated that more than 407,000 children were in foster care.

The Adoption Network estimated that between 1 and 2 million couples are waiting to adopt, with only 4 percent of individuals placing their unwanted child up for adoption, while an estimated 1.3 million individuals opt for an abortion, which was previously protected under Roe v. Wade.

'Shopping for a Baby'

"Before everybody gets mad I am adopted it's my turn to get mad," @alyxstone33 said in the video. "Myself and several other kids that I am privileged to know that were adopted were adopted in questionable ways. Less than legal ways."

She said that "many" adoptive families are looking for a baby of a specific race or specific look—sometimes getting as specific as hair and eye color or weight.

"You'd be surprised to find out how common that is," she said. "There are so many of these families out here, these adoptive families, that are shopping for a baby. They're shopping for a specific look."

The woman said her adoptive parents were "shopping" for a blond baby and met her biological mother—a young woman with blond hair. She said they viewed this as an "opportunity," but claimed her parents starved her since her biological mother was "fat."

'They Want It Fresh'

TikToker @Alyxstone33 added that people looking to adopt tend to want younger babies rather than older children who might face mental illness from growing up in the foster system.

"Like so many adoptive parents out there, they want it fresh from the womb," she said. "They want a fresh clean slate so that they can make all the trauma all by themselves."

About 62 percent of adopted children were placed with their adoptive parents within a month of birth, according to The Child Trends DataBank.

Adoption Trauma

The woman added that non-biological children, including foster kids, are nine times more likely to be abused than their counterparts living with biological parents.

She also said that research has proven that infants experience trauma during the adoption process, recalling her experience being adopted as an infant and not wanting to be touched.

"There needs to be a serious reforming when it comes to the entire adoption system," she said. "Especially in this country."

She said that the first step should be to get rid of all private adoptions. She also said that if an individual is unable to pass a psychological examination and unable to adopt through an agency—like her mother—they shouldn't be able to adopt.

The woman added that adoption agencies should require stricter vetting processes and require social workers to check in with the adoptive parents throughout the child's life rather than just the first year.

"Adoption is not the answer," she said at the end of the video. "The answer is bodily autonomy."

Commenter Reactions

More than 2,300 users commented on the video, many sharing their personal experiences.

"Unfortunately the adoption system is probably about to get a whole lot worse," one user commented.

"My parents constantly use my adoption as little bonus points," another wrote. "Every chance they get they bring up that they 'saved' me. They didn't."

"I was adopted at 4. I was my parents 3rd choice and they said I was expensive," another commented. "I felt like a car. Still do."

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