Bevestiging zoeken in oude foto van je moeder (Look for confirmation in your mother's old photo)

Carlos Dunnink (21), adopted from Colombia, where he has already traveled three times.

I was adopted by my parents when I was eight weeks old. So my roots are far away, in Colombia. The only thing I have from there is a note that my mother gave me at the time, together with a photo of her. Those are precious possessions, but without memories. I know what my mother looked like 21 years ago and that poverty was the reason she gave me up for adoption. I don't know anything about my biological family.

That photo of my Colombian mother: I often looked at it. To keep remembering what she looks like. Sometimes I also try to see characteristics of myself in it. For example, people sometimes say to each other: “You look a lot like your father.” I never hear that.

Being adopted has never bothered me. My parents have always handled it very well. I've never had the idea that I'm different. The fact that my only brother has also been adopted, and is also from Colombia, may have contributed to this. And I also have cousins ??who are adopted. My eldest cousin is a month older than me and he is also from Colombia. So the rest of the nieces and nephews know no better than that their eldest cousins ??have colored skin, black hair and brown eyes. They never had to get used to us.

As a child you take it for granted that you have a different skin color than most others around you. You don't stop there. And in my case there was never a moment when I suddenly became aware of this. It was a gradual process. Gradually I discovered that my background is very different from that of my classmates.

My little brother was adopted when I was in 3rd grade. I then went to Colombia with my parents to pick him up. I still remember parts of that trip. For example, that I stood in front of the window in the hotel room and looked at the busy street. And that I gave my little brother a hug at the first meeting.

In 2014 I went back to Colombia for the first time. This year I went there again. Just to see more of my native country. So far I have not had a strong need to get in touch with my mother. My brother and nephews are much more involved in that. They want to know where they come from and who their family is.

I will probably do some research before I turn thirty. Then when I find my mother, I would like to ask her how her life has been after the adoption, whether she had it right, how she came to the decision to give me up. The general description is: poverty. But maybe she lost her job or something, I don't know. I am very curious about how that came about.

Sometimes I think about how my life would have been if I hadn't been adopted. My living conditions would be completely different. There is such a huge difference between rich and poor. And there is so much corruption. The chance that I would have become very poor there is very high. The job I have now – I give training in the field of sports and nutrition – probably wouldn't bring a decent income there. And I also have a trade in things that have to do with healthy living. That you can do something like this yourself is unthinkable in Colombia. My adoption gave me those opportunities. I am very grateful for that.”

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