Karin startte 'datingsite' voor wensouders: 'De gunfactor is enorm' - LINDA.nl (Karin started 'dating site' for prospective pare
Karin startte 'datingsite' voor wensouders: 'De gunfactor is enorm' - LINDA.nl (Karin started 'dating site' for prospective parents: 'The goodwill factor is huge' - LINDA.nl)
KARIN (39) SET UP A 'DATING SITE' FOR PROSPECTIVE PARENTS AND FOUND A DONOR THERE HERSELF
INTERVIEW
PERSONAL
FAMILY
09.04.2023 | 12:00 PM | JUJUBE ZEGUERS
Karin van Zeelst (39) is busy with her desire to have children when she encounters the disadvantages of the fertility clinic. She decides to take matters into her own hands and sets up OneWish, a 'dating site' for prospective parents. Recently she also found her own donor on the platform.
“We hope that our children's wish will come true this year”, Karin (left in the photo) cheerfully tells LINDA.
CHILDREN'S WISH KARIN
“It all started with my own desire to have children,” says Karin. She is in her late twenties when she has a nice relationship and it starts to itch. Because she is with a woman, they want to get pregnant through a donor. First they look around in their own network, but that comes to nothing.
They are looking at adopting and the option of finding a sperm donor through a clinic. “Then you are dealing with an anonymous donor and your child is not allowed to know who that is until they are sixteen years old. As an intended mother, I would like to choose who will be the biological father of the child, I want to meet him personally and experience whether there is a match. Conversely, the donor also does not know via a clinic who his sperm is going to and how many donor children are already walking around.”
Donors also have no choice, and that doesn't sit well with Karin. “I also think that the goodwill factor increases enormously if a donor can meet prospective parents.” They conclude that their wish to have children will not be fulfilled through a clinic. Karin and her girlfriend look for other options, but mainly come across “shady websites” online. “You don't know who you're dealing with. There are not even pictures, there is only an email address.”
DONOR
Thus, the OneWish platform was born. You will find a donor or co-parent, like on a dating site, but without the romance . “I founded it six years ago when I was so actively involved in my desire to have children,” explains Karin. Not long after, the relationship ends, which means that her search for a suitable donor comes to a halt. “I investigated whether I might want to fulfill my desire to have children as a single woman, but decided to wait anyway.”
Two years ago, Karin met her friend – now engaged – Carmen. They both want children and decide to approach a donor who has registered on the platform. In November they met him in real life for the first time and now they are ready to try to get pregnant.
“We deliberately chose to go for a known donor. He will have a role in our child's life, but in the background." For Karin and Carmen and the donor, this means regular contact moments, but the upbringing and major decisions lie with the mothers. If they are allowed, the women would prefer to both carry a child. Karin: “I'm going first, because I'm five years older. I just turned 39 years old, there is more ' time pressure' with me than with my girlfriend.”
INTENDED PARENTS
With OneWish, Karin has created the meeting place that she herself was looking for at the time and where she has now been able to find a suitable donor. “My story as a founder is inextricably linked to my desire to have children.”
She would like to convey that there are several paths you can take on the way to parenthood. “Transparency and personal contact are paramount on the site,” says Karin. Everyone is welcome: singles, same sex – and straight couples. “We also have couples knocking on our door with a large age difference or, for example, people for whom one of the two already has a fulfilled wish to have children and the other does not yet.”
“We hear many grateful messages from people who have found a suitable match through us, which is really special,” says Karin. “We get birth announcements every week.” The platform is a godsend for many different types of people. “I used to think that an anonymous donor through a clinic was the only option, but that this option is there is really very nice.” For example, the founder sees a trend of single heterosexual women, who “because they do not find the prince on the white horse in time”, want to get started with their desire to have children.
Karin would like to emphasize that the position and interests of the child should always come first. "Having a child is a life-changing choice, so if people are going to explore this, they shouldn't take it lightly." She thinks it is important that prospective parents realize this. “We really believe that every child has the right to know their birth parents. We also represent the best interests of the child. Put that at the forefront of your choices and decisions.”