Our Adoption Story

Our adoption story begins around May 1997, we wondered if our family could have another girl. A baby didn't seem to fit into the age chain, because our son Björn was already 10 years old at that time. That's how we came up with the idea of ??adoption, and adoption didn't pose the risk that it could end up being a boy. Because my wish (Peter) was another daughter, but it should be 2. More on that later. After a while we both made up our minds.

So our way led us to our youth welfare office. The social worker was very nice and helpful. So we submitted the adoption application and our adoption suitability report should also be prepared quite quickly.

But there was also disillusionment: Adopting even an older child in Germany is almost hopeless.

Some time later she visited us to get to know us and our home better.

It was here that the question of "foreign adoption" came up for the first time. She reported from the ISD in Frankfurt.

We then visited several youth welfare offices, including the GZA in Hamburg a little later, with the result that we "fell through the cracks" because we didn't want to adopt a physically or mentally handicapped child. Our girl should have a "normal" future. Nevertheless, we collected a lot of important information there.

We gave up the adoption in Germany and wanted to try the adoption abroad. What we lacked at the time was information. There were not many families represented on the internet. Today families have it much easier.

Over time, we got to know some families personally via the Internet, and some friendships were formed that continue to this day.

Through the "Parents and Children" association, we first tried an international adoption in Kaliningrad. The chances were quite good, but despite the social report from the youth welfare office, we should still be tested by a psychologist. We didn't want to do that to ourselves, and this test is quite expensive.

After these failures, in the spring of 1997, we remembered the ISD in Frankfurt.

The very first call was a great surprise, and I'll never forget Ms. Schmidt's sentence "You're walking in open doors" .

At this point parents were being sought for older and sibling children! Finally a ray of light. A few days later we had a bundle of informational materials in our hands. The cost was affordable too.

We filled out the forms and started collecting the required documentation. It should take another 3 months until all the documents have already been translated into Romanian and sent to Frankfurt. Now the waiting began. Confirmation came some time later, everything arrived in Bucharest in full.

First telephone contact was made with Ms. Harvalia in Bucharest. She is the responsible lawyer there and chairwoman of the “Parents and Children” foundation in Bucharest. Our adoption was now progressing slowly.

Here, too, there was another setback: The Romanian government was restructured, about 3 months

adoption stop. After a long wait, a call came from Ms. Schmidt from the ITS. She asked us if we would also adopt a gypsy girl. We had no objection and learned a family before us had rejected her because she is a Roma girl.

Then it finally came in May '98: the proposal for a child and our daughter's first picture! The picture only in fax quality nevertheless huge joy. Her name is Aurelia, 5 years old, a pretty Roma girl and we fell in love with her straight away.

Aurelia's first day with us in Bucharest

At the same time another low blow: She has hepatitis B! We didn't know anything about this disease and asked for time to think about it until we had obtained detailed information from our health department. We got the best information from the Kessebömer-Freise family from Lübeck. The informative e-mail can be found in this HP.

The most important information: you can get vaccinated, Aurelia can live quite normally. The whole family should also be vaccinated. Nothing could be said about a cure without findings. But the overall information was also hopeful. 2 days later we gave our tentative consent to the adoption.

In June 98 we got the call: finally we can fly to meet our daughter Aurelia for the first time.

We were totally over the moon.

How would she react to us? What do we do if she rejects us?

How do we communicate with her? How does it look in your home? Was she okay at home?

Does she have home damage and is she behind in development?

All questions that should keep us busy for a long time.

We booked our flight to Bucharest from Frankfurt with the Romanian Tarom over the Internet at Flug.de.

Up to then we had never flown, vacation mostly in Scandinavia by car. It started in June. By car to Frankfurt. Now it started, the hunt for the tickets. After about 30 minutes we found the counter, but the tickets are not ready yet. After a long wait, I was pretty unnerved, we were running out of time. The tickets finally arrived!

Here's some advice if someone flies with the Tarom: Have someone explain exactly where the Tarom switch is, it's very difficult to find and you can safely forget the information.

Now we went through the usual controls to our gate. It finally started, with the bus to our plane.

We started in the cold in Frankfurt, 2 hours later we landed in Bucharest at a good 35 degrees!

At the same time a different world, the airport is relatively small and not a luxury in Frankfurt. But long waiting time at the Romanian customs. Here I encountered something else after customs: The Romanian toilets (except at MC Donald and Pizza Hut) should be avoided if possible (ABC protective mask recommended by the federal government). Another experience: The taxis would have been in the scrap yard for 10 years. We rode one once. My car mechanic, Ear, told me: the drive shaft on the left is defective, the rear right brake brakes on metal, and the gearbox has slight damage to the shaft. Chassis totally worn out and gritted. Surprisingly, you get where you want to go. There is always some adventure involved.

A joke says: How do you get rid of all cars in Romania? Quite simply, introduce the German TÜV.

We were already expected by Oktivian, our companion. He was to accompany us more often later. Electrician by profession and like all attendants there very nice and helpful.

Octavian greeted us and took us to Mrs. Harvalia's office. We were greeted in a friendly manner and we discussed how the process with the authorities and the trip to the home should be in the few days. The next day, the trip to the children's home was on the plan.

The breakfast in the hotel was inedible, there was also coke and we absolutely couldn't get used to it. We skipped it, shortly after that Liviu (Mrs. Harvalia's husband) picked us up and off we went to Deva. The Autobahn doesn't deserve the name because everything moves here, including bicycles. In the meantime "rent a girl" is also possible here.

We made a stopover in Sibiu for lunch at the Hotel International. Food and service are good here.

In the afternoon we arrived at Children's Home II in Deva and here came the shock because Aurelia wasn't here, but on vacation with the other children of the group at the Black Sea. The two groups of children got mixed up and that's how this glitch happened. We were given a handwritten paper that allowed us to visit Aurelia. Liviu was visibly upset and we were at a loss.

At least there was now the opportunity to speak to the treating pediatrician, because Aurelia has hepatitis B.

On the one hand we could see the children's home I and at the same time we saw the very limited possibilities of the doctor. There were only a few medicines and vitamin supplements in the medicine cabinet. Several children quickly gathered around us and I had a boy in my arms right away. After we had our information and had left the home again, the question now was what to do next.

Liviu now asked us if we would still like to see Aurelia.

Now our schedule was getting messed up, but we definitely decided to go to the Black Sea and meet Aurelia. So the whole tour back, a good 400km, late in the night we were back at the hotel. Liviu was totally exhausted and kept himself awake with louder music, I offered him to take the wheel but he preferred to drive on himself. We fell into our beds totally exhausted.

The next morning we were picked up by Oktavian and driven to the office. Ms. Harvalia deeply regretted the mishap. This mishap would later prove to be a great advantage when Alina was adopted.

I decided to sign the final declaration of consent immediately. We suspected that otherwise we would no longer be able to make an appointment with the notary. The decision later proved to be correct. We could never have made the appointment. So we had already agreed to the adoption without having seen Aurelia. How would she react to us that day? My wife felt worse and worse in the stuffy air at the notary's and had to vomit several times in the toilet. Finally we had signed the papers and we could start.

The journey to the Black Sea began, my wife was still not doing particularly well. Even while driving it was quite hot in the car. After throwing up again, she finally felt better. I was very relieved about that.

In the afternoon we arrived in Constanta, continued via Mamaia and reached the resort. I already regretted that we didn't have bathing suits with us, but we couldn't count on that. This holiday area is very beautiful and it is definitely worth spending your holidays here.

At about 45 degrees we reached the holiday home of the children's group. We asked about Aurelia here, but found out that the children bathed on the beach. Now it was time to search, because the beach is quite long. But we were lucky after about 20 minutes we found them. We were so excited and looked after our Aurelia. How would she react? We remembered a girl with long dark hair. The governess (Ms. Doina) now pointed to a girl with very short hair and very shaggy. We handed her the visit permit.

Mrs. Doina introduced us as her "new" parents. She was very happy and wanted to be on her father's arm. Octavian, our companion, congratulated us on our daughter. We went into the water a bit. These moments compensated us for all these hardships. Now it was her mom's turn. First of all, she examined the things we brought with us. It didn't take long for me to have all the children spread out around me. They curiously bowed to what we had brought with us in our bags. We found it amazing that she immediately distributed the sweets. So she had learned to share. Then we saw a line of shoes. We asked Aurelia for her shoes, she showed them to us and we already knew her shoe size.

She proudly told every child we are their new parents when they were distributed. Radu, Mrs. Doina's son, spoke German. This allowed us to talk to her and got some information about Aurelia and the home. We also noticed that the teachers treated the children very warmly.

When Marlene picked Aurelia up, I really noticed how tanned she was.

I think today, from that moment she was our daughter.

Time passed way too quickly. We met her best friend Mihaela (she lives in Cyprus now).

Then we got to know Alina. Later at home we thought about adopting Alina.

It was very difficult for us to say goodbye, but it was a bit of a relief to realize that she was in good hands.

Before that I went with her to the karaoke stand. She sang a Romanian children's song here and regretted that I didn't have the camcorder with me.

So here's my advice: take everything with you, collect as much information as possible. Above all about the origin of the child, parents, illness status, etc. Once the child is at home, it is difficult to get any information. Try to look at the child's file in the children's home and copy important sheets.

We are still in contact with the teachers and the children's home today. We know the day will come when the question of the girls' birth parents will come up. Aurelia would like to visit the home and the children today.

It went back after about 3 hours, a very warm farewell from Aurelia and the educators.

We arrived at the hotel in Bucharest late at night totally exhausted. The next morning, the farewell came

first of all from Oana, our lawyer, and our companions. It went to the airport.

Around noon Germany had us back. Now the time of waiting began.

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