Foreign adoptee Maiken Helene (22) has felt ugly for large parts of her life

For large parts of her life, Maiken Helene Bergsmo has tried to push away the fact that she is an adopted child. She calls for better follow-up of people adopted abroad.

- It has been difficult for mum and dad to understand. In recent years, it has dawned on them how challenging it can be to have dark skin.

Maiken Helene Bergsmo was born on 8 March 2001 and was found in a cardboard box along the street in the Chinese city of Shanghai.

Two years later, Bergsmo sat on the plane with his new Norwegian family on the way to Harstad. Bergsmo has been told that the tears fell when the snow in northern Norway hit her shoe.

Today, Bergsmo studies journalism at Oslo Metropolitan University. She smiles widely when she meets the journalist in Framtida, but behind the smile there is also a lot of seriousness.

In recent years, the 22-year-old has thought a lot about being adopted.

- I am actually very much against foreign adoption. I understand that it may be necessary, but quite frankly I think the idea is tasteless. There is often a "white savior" mentality from the West. These brown children must be saved.

Reflection and scrutiny

In recent months, several countries in Europe have announced that they will investigate illegal adoptions. This also applies to Norway.

Minister for Children and Families Kjersti Toppe in the Center Party announced earlier this year that there will be an external investigation into previous adoptions. This happened after Verdens Gang exposed a number of illegal adoptions.

In connection with this, Bergsmo wrote his second debate entry in Aftenposten about adoption . In this text she wrote, among other things:

- Almost three years ago I wrote in Si; D on the same topic as no. Among other things, I wrote that I do not feel any strong connection to China, and that the only connection I have to the country is that I was born there.

Furthermore, Bergsmo wrote that a lot of reflection had been done since then, and that now he looked at things a little differently.

- I don't feel a strong connection to my country of birth now either, but I am more open to the fact that China is something more than just a country in the distance where I was born. Things are not as black and white today.

In 2018, Bergsmo wrote a debate entry in Aftenposten Si ;D with the following headline: Please: "Stop calling me a foreigner!"

- What has changed between these posts?

- Between this period I made several friends who were Asian, but also people with an immigrant background. I have surrounded myself with people who are more like-minded. My confidence in being adopted has increased.

Failure of the system

In January this year, PhD scholar Kjersti Grinde Satish published a qualitative study on mental health struggles among Norwegian international adoptees. This is part of Satish's doctoral thesis at NTNU, which deals with the experiences of adult adoptees from abroad.

Throughout the study, Satish has spoken to 19 women and 7 men aged 21–34.

In the study, the adoptees specify that a lack of knowledge has been problematic, and that it has contributed to confusion about their own identity, and also to ongoing emotional pain.

Bergsmo himself struggles with his psyche. She says that other adoptees she meets have also faced the same problem.

- Personally, I think the system has been bad. I do not know how other adoptees have experienced this, but I have not received any follow-up. The surrounding equipment has been completely miserable.

- I think it is very badly done that you are adopted to Norway with Norwegian papers, but then you are often not Norwegian on the street. That the adoption system takes you from the country of birth, and then the support is virtually non-existent. It is simply very bad, says Bergsmo.

Lack of competence

After completing his studies, Satish is left with many of the same impressions as Bergsmo.

- There are many who have felt that the system has failed when it comes to monitoring children and parents. It is not necessarily easy to be adoptive parents either.

- It's one thing to get help, another thing is to get help from someone with the right skills, says Satish on the phone to Framtida.no.

Several people Satish meets have been offered help through a psychologist or child and youth psychiatry, but a lack of knowledge makes them feel misunderstood.

- The general aid is not arranged for adoptees. Several of the people I have spoken to have problems that are not recognised, and they are often asked to be grateful about adoption.

- It seems that there is no room for having a difficult time, without saying that you are grateful.

Satish points to two things when she is asked about what is needed to be able to provide a good enough offer to adopted children, but also adoptive parents.

- There must be the right and available expertise, and people who can deal with adoption-specific problems.

Over the phone, Satish is presented with the measures put forward by the Directorate for Children, Youth and Families. Her immediate thoughts are that this is something that will be helpful.

- All points are very good. This has been in demand, and will probably hit a lot of people. If this is carried out, it will be of great help, says Satish.

The measures can be read at the bottom of the case.

Adoption-specific need for help

The Directorate for Children, Youth and Families has been made aware of the criticism from Maiken regarding follow-up and the system. In an e-mail to Framtida, signed Kristin Ugstad Steinrem, department director for international services at Bufdir, they write, among other things:

"Norway has a well-developed health and social system where all children, young people, adults and families who live in the country can get help with social or health-related challenges. Many adoptees and their families make use of these public services, and receive good help and follow-up there."

She goes on to write that:

"Several adoptees and their families have nevertheless advocated that adoptees have an adoption-specific need for help, which the ordinary services do not fulfill."

The complete response from the Directorate for Children, Youth and Families can be read at the bottom of the file.

Tiresome growing up

- It has happened several times that people have told me that mum and dad are wonderful because they adopted me, says Bergsmo.

Bergsmo goes on to say that it has been hard to be an adopted child, especially at a young age.

- There were a lot of nasty comments and descriptions of my life as an adoptee, and how terrible it was. I was a very insecure child, completely devoid of self-confidence, she says.

- Children say very honest and unfiltered things to each other. They don't know any better.

At secondary school, Bergsmo went through an identity crisis and experienced little understanding when he met the health nurse at the school.

- She told me that I had to be grateful, and that my parents were very happy with me. There was no understanding on the other end, and I understand that they cannot understand me.

Everyday racism

Even as a child, Bergsmo encountered everyday racism. The first experience she remembers was from a local restaurant.

- I was at a restaurant in Harstad with my family. Since I was young I could eat with chopsticks. I did that too that day. After a while a little girl came and brought her father with her to see that I was using chopsticks. They just stood staring at me from 3 meters away.

This was just the start of a series of events that have followed him throughout his life. As a 19-year-old, she was asked if she was in the hall.

- Once I was taking a walk in Toten, a car stopped with several men in it. They rolled down the window and asked me straight out how much I should have. I gave them a clear message and then they drove on. Eventually they came back and asked me again: "Are you sure you're not selling?" It was very disgusting.

In 2020, the coronavirus spread from China to the whole world. This meant that many Norwegians of Asian origin encountered uncomfortable situations.

- In particular, I remember a situation at the store during the corona. - As soon as he saw me at the shop, he turned and left. His body went completely rigid with fright, he quickly got away from me, as fast as possible. Not just ordinary times. I'm not a person who tries to find racism, because I think everyone should get a real chance.

20 years of poor self-image

- Right up until I was 20 years old, I denied that I was adopted. It was difficult for me to talk about China, the cold sweat just rolled off my mind.

Despite a life of denial, being adopted has marked Bergsmo's self-image over a long period.

- When I turned 21 was the first time I thought I wasn't ugly. All my life I've thought that I'm really ugly because I'm Asian.

Bergsmo has made up some thoughts about what she has missed all these years.

- The fact that I grew up in northern Norway probably played a big role in that. I miss having people around me who look like me, and by that I don't mean that it necessarily has to be Asians. Recently, I have spoken to several adoptees in Oslo, and they have not felt left out like I did in Harstad.

- But most of all, I have missed someone to share my own experiences with someone who understands me.

Full answer from the Directorate for Children, Youth and Families by Kristin Ugstad Steinrem, department director for international services:

"Norway has a well-developed health and social system where all children, young people, adults and families who live in the country can get help with social or health-related challenges. Many adoptees and their families make use of these public services, and receive good help and follow-up there.

Several adoptees and their families have nevertheless advocated that adoptees have an adoption-specific need for help, which the ordinary services do not fulfill. In order to investigate this more closely, in 2017 Bufdir commissioned the Institute of Public Health to survey adoptees and their families' needs for help and follow-up after adoption. The report is available here: Better before and after

In a survey of adoptive parents, it emerges that one in three of the families state that they have children who have or have had disturbances around attachment, mild mental difficulties, reading and writing difficulties, or behavior and aggression problems. A quarter of the families state that they have or have had children with serious concentration difficulties, language difficulties and identity problems linked to being adopted.

In 2021, Bufdir was commissioned by the Ministry of Children and Families to sort out and propose how adoptees and their families should be followed up after adoption. Bufdir's report and recommendation were sent to the ministry in December 2021. You can read it here: Bufdir report

As can be read from the report, Bufdir considered that there is a need for a stronger effort for adoptees and their families after adoption. A combined package of measures was proposed, with five measures.

In the letter of award from the Ministry of Children and Families in 2023, Bufdir has been given four assignments concerning post-adoption measures, together with a grant of NOK 3.5 million:

Assignment 23 Establish courses for adoptive parents after adoption

Task 24 Establish assistance for searches for biological origins

Assignment 25 Develop a competence service for adoptees and their families after the adoption, which will provide individual guidance to adoptees and their families about the service offer after adoption, provide information/professional support on adoption-specific issues for use by relevant services.

Assignment 26 Assess the development of a trial project with conversation support for national and international adoptees, according to the Swedish model mentioned in Bufdir's report point 3.10.2.1. The assignment is being worked on in Bufdir.