With National Adoption Month quickly approaching, the adoptee and former foster youth side of the adoption community on social media have been diligently sharing content to help bring attention to the nuances of adoption.
And while the internet is a powerful tool, I can safely say that I never thought adoptees would be going toe to toe on TikTok with Rosie O’Donnell, a white adoptive mom and celebrity, who said she was sorry that “adoption didn’t work out” for some adoptees, but wants to know what should happen to children without families?
Like Rosie, I wanted to believe that adoption was a solution to the many children in need of homes, and when I stumbled into the online adoption community many years ago after discovering I was adopted, I remember feeling overwhelmed—and even defensive—about how negatively people were depicting something that helped so many.
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This is what I now refer to as toxic positivity and saviorism in the workshops I teach to parents and adoption professionals—because so many people are unaware of the dangers and ethical problems of adoption in the United States. Objectively speaking, adoption in the U.S. is often not child-centered, and the desires of adoptive parents and professionals are prioritized along with profit-margins.