Rose Roeterink (27) and her parents Chris Roeterink (72) and Mieke Nederlof (64)
Rose: 'I grew up in the Achterhoek, where mainly white people live. I now live in Utrecht. I have never discussed racism with my parents. For a long time I did not dare to talk about racism, also because it did not exist in the eyes of my parents and those around me. '
'We still live in Dinxperlo, in the Achterhoek', her father Chris says from their living room, sitting next to his wife on the sofa. 'When we started dating Mieke immediately about adoption. I didn't see any problems. Because her mother's first child had died during childbirth, she had inherited a difficult relationship with childbirth from home. Mieke: 'I have always supported the idea of ??a mixed family. We have four children, three of whom have been adopted. Rose is the youngest. ' Chris: 'After three children, we found our family complete. Until we got a message from the children's home in Haiti where we had adopted our other daughter. She turned out to have a biological sister, Rose. The question was whether we could also adopt her. We wanted that. ' Mieke: 'When Rose was 15 she had to tell a story about her mother in front of the class. She burst into tears, said she couldn't because she didn't know her real mother, in Haiti. I was upset about that. ' Rose:
Rose: 'When I was very young, I mainly saw that I had older parents than most children. I didn't necessarily see a color difference. Classmates sometimes asked how my parents were white and I black. I would explain that I was adopted, but that I just called them mom and dad. ' Chris: “That Rose could face racism didn't bother us. Rose: “Apparently it is. My birth name is Darkenlove. You thought people would react weird to that, so you called me Rose. ' Chris: 'For us it doesn't matter whether you are black or white. Racism does not exist for us. I do know that other people think racist. On holiday abroad you were sometimes stared at as if you were monkeys, but we didn't think that something like this happened in the Netherlands. ' Rose: 'That image prevailed too, that there was no racism in the Netherlands. I kept quiet about it for a long time because I thought it shouldn't be a problem. '
Rose: 'I've always felt good in our family, we talked about everything except racism. I had plenty of girlfriends in primary school, but I was also bullied and spat on. I got no answer from my teacher. My brother and sister went through similar things, but we didn't talk about it because we wanted to be as normal as possible. Mama loved alpine caps. I never wanted to wear it, then I would be called Zwarte Piet. ' Chris: 'We have never heard of it, the children have not discussed it with us.' Rose: 'I think it is the responsibility of parents to make something like this negotiable. Racism was not an existing problem for my parents, they did not have to deal with it themselves, so they did not see it. I am surprised to hear that they have not noticed much of this. As if they forgot a bit. Chris: When we hear this, the problem has been bigger than we realized. We didn't pay much attention to it. ' Mieke: 'I haven't noticed the bullying. The stories came later. I wonder if I've failed as a mother, if I've listened to Rose enough. ”