Adoption is often not a rosy story, even if you were raised in a happy Dutch family. The committee investigated the role and responsibility of the Dutch government in intercountry adoptions. On 8 February she presented the results of the study. There is often a dark reality behind adoption stories full of abuses. With this report, there is finally recognition for the pain that many adoptees experience. Joëlle Raus Prudence, herself adopted from Mauritius, explains why this is so important.
February 8 was an emotional day. The conclusions of the Joustra Committee's report are clear. It confirms what I and many other adult adoptees have known for a long time: the adoption system is fueling child trafficking worldwide. The process is related to serious abuses of which the Dutch government has been aware since the 1960s. Following the conclusions of the report, intercountry adoption has been completely shut down for the time being. It gives me a strange feeling of relief that the minister is adopting the recommendations in the report.
Although I also immediately think of the grief of intended parents -my parents once were too-, it is time to see what is wrong. Recognizing that adoption is in many cases about love, but it is also a form of human trafficking that hides untold suffering. Especially in the case of closed adoptions † The report states that the origin of the children is often difficult to trace and that the system is perpetuated by many perverse financial incentives, which make the adoption business a lucrative sector. In the past fifteen years that I have delved into my own adoption history, I have heard the most horrible experiences from other adoptees and involved. I've heard stories of young women and girls in parts of Southeast Asia being trafficked to bear children in so-called baby farms† Stories about parents whose children are stolen on their way to the store. There are children who have been 'lost' after natural disasters. And stories about women in Haiti who become pregnant without being married and are manipulated by the (Catholic) church to give up their child for a small fee. The list is endless.
However, this does not happen in a vacuum. It starts with the unfair distribution of wealth and the arrogant attitude of the West. Many people feel parenthood is a right and sometimes go to such extreme lengths to have a child that they override the child's rights. In this way a system of supply and demand has arisen. Many stakeholders in the adoption process are convinced that a child is better off in the wealthy West. The Catholic Church played a decisive role in my adoption. This didn't stop when she gave me up. To this day, they continue to convince her that she made the right choice at the time. It revolves around the perception of the outside world: the shame, the opportunities for mother and child. And to generate income of course.
Being born under less prosperous circumstances is often seen as the guarantee of an unhappy life. That's exactly that arrogant look from the West. People don't think about what it's like to be a child who doesn't know exactly where she comes from and who, when she starts her search, finds out that the information in her adoption file is wrong. Without leads, it is impossible to find your biological family. That pain is overwhelming for some and can result in a life full of grief and psychological problems. I myself had a happy childhood with my white, Dutch parents. But still the search for myself, where I come from and the loyalty conflict that comes with it, is the common thread in my life. But imagine that you ended up in a dysfunctional family, abuse and all that on top of the adoption issue. How do you find a way in life? It's something we don't like to hear, but in the Netherlands there are enough adoptions that are not successful. Not least because the adoptive family does not meet the requirements.