When it turns out that Reina and her husband cannot have children, it feels like a heavy loss. But their story has turned for the better: through adoption, they now enjoy their children and grandchildren.
“In the beginning, people sometimes looked surprised when they saw a dark child in the pram. We lived in the countryside in Drenthe, so you didn't see that much. Fortunately, we received a lot of positive reactions.”
Reina is in her early twenties when she discovers that she and her husband cannot have children. She married when she was eighteen, her husband was 26 years old. “I'm a Baptist and my husband was of Catholic descent, but at that time he didn't have anything to do with the faith,” says Reina (67). “Even before our marriage, it was a struggle, including with his parents. So we got married pretty quickly. We had a great desire to have children, especially me: women didn't work like that in those days."
Shame
But Reina doesn't get pregnant. “In the hospital it became clear that my husband was infertile. He has yet to have surgery and the gynecologist suggested artificial insemination, but that was not in line with my belief. It was difficult to talk about it, I was ashamed of it. When my sister and friends did have children, I found it very difficult. I must have said to God: why everyone and not me? But I can't remember praying for it. I also had to deal with it alone, because my husband was not religious.”