Three Ethiopian Belgians testify: unfortunately, adoption is not a feel-good story
Shashitu Rahima Tarirga, Thereza De Wannemaeker and Temesgen Mees were adopted from Ethiopia.
SHASHITU RAHIMA TARIRGA , THEREZA DE WANNEMAEKER AND TEMESGEN MEES February 21, 2024, 3:00 am
Through the VRT documentary Francisco Desir, the audience gets an insight into the emotional journey of adoption. For us adoptees, the emotions that Francisco goes through are all too recognizable. It takes a lot of courage to start the search for your first family. As adoptees, we can only applaud the fact that Francisco wants to share this quest with the general public.
Thoughtful opinions, sharp pens. All unmissable opinion pieces in your mailbox every week.
However, the prominent presence in the series of Ray of Hope (ROH), one of the former international adoption services, quickly makes the good feeling disappear. The service seems to have only participated with one goal: confirmation of the adoption fairy tale and to receive praise for the good work they claim to be doing.
ROH is portrayed as a service with an excellent reputation. In a short sentence in the documentary, Erika Van Beek, coordinator of ROH, confirms that mistakes have been made in the past, but no further attention is paid to this. The complaints about the operation of ROH and its involvement in illegal adoptions are not mentioned in the series. However, recently there has been more attention to abuses and mistakes in adoption. Neither the makers nor ROH pay any attention to that in this documentary.
Nor is it mentioned that no intercountry adoption service, including Ray of Hope, is currently recognized. This situation has mainly been created by the services themselves. In March 2023, the government launched a call for a single intercountry adoption service. There was then a desire to merge the three existing adoption services (Ray of Hope, Het Kleine Mirakel and FIAC). However, last December, Minister Crevits (CD&V) took the decision not to recognize any intercountry adoption services for the time being. Instead of standing up together for the interests of adopted children, the services preferred to fight against each other for their own interests.
HAITI
Van Beek then makes questionable statements about the introduced stop on adoptions from Haiti. She says: “Two weeks before the decision, we were able to assign another child. That is a really clear signal that it is not because things did not go well.”
Van Beek mainly focuses on the difficulty of traveling to Haiti. It completely ignores the underlying decision-making framework, which focuses on avoiding abuses in intercountry adoption, because there is no safe framework to work within. The fact that Van Beek states that adoptions from, in this case, Haiti have been without errors is astonishing. Haiti was and is a politically unstable country that is still struggling against a past of colonization, immense debts to its former colonizers, social unrest and all kinds of other disasters. This is not a framework in which you can be sure that adoptions will proceed correctly. The fact that Flanders decided to introduce an adoption ban with Haiti was the only right decision.
Finally, too little attention is paid to the situation of birth parents. Ray of Hope indicates that birth mothers rarely report because they have abandoned their child and are punishable for doing so. No time is spent here on creating a fair and broader picture. Sometimes it is stated in the adoption file that children have been abandoned, but in reality it appears to be known who gave up the child. There are also very few parents who 'voluntarily' give up their children. They will almost always be driven by desperation, false promises from intermediaries or other unfair circumstances. It is time to pay attention to the traumas and loss that these parents have to live with.
Many adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents know that adoption files have been tampered with and that adoptions have been carried out incorrectly or even illegally. ROH also actively contributed to this fraud. We regret that it was decided to give this service airtime without any critical comment.
BALANCED AND RESPECTFUL
While Francisco Desir offers us a unique look at an adoptee's personal journey, insufficient attention is paid to the broader context of intercountry adoption. Both Ray of Hope, through Van Beek, the program makers and the VRT bear a responsibility in this. It is crucial that adoption services and the media take their roles seriously and ensure that adoption stories are told in a balanced and respectful way.
Adoption is a multi-layered process that deserves nuanced representation, and society deserves a full understanding of its complexity. It is disappointing that ROH, the program makers and VRT have only focused on confirming the adoption fairy tale with this series. It is extremely disappointing that a broadcaster that is there for every member of society silences or at least ignores a group.
Every adoptee has their own view on adoption and is entitled to their own view on it. Some believe that intercountry adoption should stop, others believe that intercountry adoption should be continued. We believe that intercountry adoption is outdated. Anyone who wants to continue intercountry adoption must be able to live with the idea that they are partly responsible for the happiness, but also for the traumas of intercountry adoption.Shashitu Rahima Tarirga, Thereza De Wannemaeker and Temesgen Mees were adopted from Ethiopia.
SHASHITU RAHIMA TARIRGA , THEREZA DE WANNEMAEKER AND TEMESGEN MEES February 21, 2024, 3:00 am
Through the VRT documentary Francisco Desir, the audience gets an insight into the emotional journey of adoption. For us adoptees, the emotions that Francisco goes through are all too recognizable. It takes a lot of courage to start the search for your first family. As adoptees, we can only applaud the fact that Francisco wants to share this quest with the general public.
Thoughtful opinions, sharp pens. All unmissable opinion pieces in your mailbox every week.
However, the prominent presence in the series of Ray of Hope (ROH), one of the former international adoption services, quickly makes the good feeling disappear. The service seems to have only participated with one goal: confirmation of the adoption fairy tale and to receive praise for the good work they claim to be doing.
ROH is portrayed as a service with an excellent reputation. In a short sentence in the documentary, Erika Van Beek, coordinator of ROH, confirms that mistakes have been made in the past, but no further attention is paid to this. The complaints about the operation of ROH and its involvement in illegal adoptions are not mentioned in the series. However, recently there has been more attention to abuses and mistakes in adoption. Neither the makers nor ROH pay any attention to that in this documentary.
Nor is it mentioned that no intercountry adoption service, including Ray of Hope, is currently recognized. This situation has mainly been created by the services themselves. In March 2023, the government launched a call for a single intercountry adoption service. There was then a desire to merge the three existing adoption services (Ray of Hope, Het Kleine Mirakel and FIAC). However, last December, Minister Crevits (CD&V) took the decision not to recognize any intercountry adoption services for the time being. Instead of standing up together for the interests of adopted children, the services preferred to fight against each other for their own interests.
HAITI
Van Beek then makes questionable statements about the introduced stop on adoptions from Haiti. She says: “Two weeks before the decision, we were able to assign another child. That is a really clear signal that it is not because things did not go well.”
Van Beek mainly focuses on the difficulty of traveling to Haiti. It completely ignores the underlying decision-making framework, which focuses on avoiding abuses in intercountry adoption, because there is no safe framework to work within. The fact that Van Beek states that adoptions from, in this case, Haiti have been without errors is astonishing. Haiti was and is a politically unstable country that is still struggling against a past of colonization, immense debts to its former colonizers, social unrest and all kinds of other disasters. This is not a framework in which you can be sure that adoptions will proceed correctly. The fact that Flanders decided to introduce an adoption ban with Haiti was the only right decision.
Finally, too little attention is paid to the situation of birth parents. Ray of Hope indicates that birth mothers rarely report because they have abandoned their child and are punishable for doing so. No time is spent here on creating a fair and broader picture. Sometimes it is stated in the adoption file that children have been abandoned, but in reality it appears to be known who gave up the child. There are also very few parents who 'voluntarily' give up their children. They will almost always be driven by desperation, false promises from intermediaries or other unfair circumstances. It is time to pay attention to the traumas and loss that these parents have to live with.
Many adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents know that adoption files have been tampered with and that adoptions have been carried out incorrectly or even illegally. ROH also actively contributed to this fraud. We regret that it was decided to give this service airtime without any critical comment.
BALANCED AND RESPECTFUL
While Francisco Desir offers us a unique look at an adoptee's personal journey, insufficient attention is paid to the broader context of intercountry adoption. Both Ray of Hope, through Van Beek, the program makers and the VRT bear a responsibility in this. It is crucial that adoption services and the media take their roles seriously and ensure that adoption stories are told in a balanced and respectful way.
Adoption is a multi-layered process that deserves nuanced representation, and society deserves a full understanding of its complexity. It is disappointing that ROH, the program makers and VRT have only focused on confirming the adoption fairy tale with this series. It is extremely disappointing that a broadcaster that is there for every member of society silences or at least ignores a group.
Every adoptee has their own view on adoption and is entitled to their own view on it. Some believe that intercountry adoption should stop, others believe that intercountry adoption should be continued. We believe that intercountry adoption is outdated. Anyone who wants to continue intercountry adoption must be able to live with the idea that they are partly responsible for the happiness, but also for the traumas of intercountry adoption.