U.S. couples fear hurdles rising for foreign adoption
| May 8, 2010 | http://detnews.com/article/20100508/METRO/5080372 |
U.S. couples fear hurdles rising for foreign adoption
CATHERINE JUN
The Detroit News
When Heather and David Zeoli decided to adopt, they chose Russia for its relatively short waits and stable overseas adoption programs.
But as Russian officials seek greater control over adoptions to the United States, the couple's plans are uncertain.
On Friday, Russia's parliament defeated a motion that would have prevented American adoptions of Russian children. But a Russian official said such a freeze would be considered again if expected talks with the United States do not produce a bilateral agreement.
Conflicting signals from Moscow since April have stalled some adoptions, and made some Michigan families nervous about adopting overseas, agencies said.
This is the second time this year a foreign government has seriously considered restricting adoptions to the United States. Haiti's government halted all new adoptions by U.S. citizens following the devastating earthquake on Jan. 12.
"We're praying about it and hoping everything goes well," said Heather Zeoli, 35, of Grand Rapids, who is trying to adopt a child. "It's an emotional roller coaster and we knew it was going to be."
Russian authorities sought a new policy on adoptions to the United States after a Tennessee woman in April put her adopted Russian 7-year-old on a plane alone to Moscow, saying she no longer wanted to parent the boy.
At Adoption Options Worldwide, an agency in West Bloomfield, several pending adoptions from Russia are in limbo, said Dana Marra, executive director.
"They're anxious," Marra said. "They just hope the country will not close for good."
Jan Parmenter, supervisor of intercountry adoptions at Bethany Christian Services' Grand Rapids office, said families considering adoption may in some cases turn to another country or scuttle adoption plans.
"Any kinds of incidents like these .... make families scared," Parmenter said. "Now it's maybe a year before you bring that child home."
Some 1,800 Russian children were adopted in the United States last year, according to the Russian Education and Science Ministry.
When countries halt adoptions following such high-profile incidents, they disrupt adoptions that would ultimately benefit children, either emotionally or medically, said Tom DiFilipo, president and CEO of the Joint Council on International Children's Services in Alexandria, Va.
"The kids are the ones that suffer," DiFilipo said. Foreign adoptions to the United States have dramatically declined, he said, to a projected 10,000 this year, down from 24,000 in previous years.
Yet, "there's no shortage of families who are able or willing to give a family and a life to a child of another country," he said.
One of the lucky ones
In the months after the Haiti earthquake, Bethany Christian Services received 3,147 preliminary applications from Americans wishing to adopt Haitian children, triple the number received in 2009.
Except for adoptions close to finalization prior to the quake, a moratorium was placed on new adoptions out of Haiti as the country struggles to rebuild.
"We've been in contact with the families to see if they're interested in moving forward with another country," said John VanValkenburg, a spokesman for Bethany.
One adoptive couple thinks their Lourdie, age 4, was among the lucky ones.
She is one of more than 1,000 Haitian children granted adoption following the quake humanitarian parole policy, a U.S. program that ended in April.
"It's sort of like a miracle," said Steven de Polo of Grand Rapids, who sponsored Lourdie with his girlfriend, Caroline Clark. "We are lucky and blessed that we got Lourdie and it worked out. It's one of those things where the circumstances all fell together."
Lourdie has learned enough English to say phrases like "thank you," and "how are you?" She is set to begin preschool in August.
"We figure one major life change at a time," de Polo said.
Adjusting takes time
At Adoption Options Worldwide, staff members remind post-adoptive families of counseling and training opportunities, pointing to the Tennessee mother as a cautionary tale.
"We're always trying to make the families feel connected and never feel like they don't have a lifeline," Marra said.
Andrea and David DiLisio know how invaluable help can be.
Last year, the couple adopted their 7-year-old daughter from Russia. In the first weeks after Zhanna's arrival, she went into crying spells when she was told playtime was over.
Things improved after the Rochester Hills family followed the advice of other adoptive parents: Set up a regimented schedule similar to what Zhanna had at the orphanage.
"It's our adjusting as well as her adjusting," Andrea DiLisio said.