Ana from Indonesia: "Ibu Ellya's son disappeared before she could give him a name ..."

Ibu Ellya is 78 years old and lives in Desa Susukan in central Java. She was 25 years old when she became pregnant with a son and married to Iwansa. She was a Javanese herself and her husband was from Sumatra. At the time, not everyone was happy that she chose someone from another island. They found a Javanese with a Javanese a better match. But she was happy with Iwansa, a dentist.

She had completed junior high school and after that she was able to find work in Jakarta and later Surabaya. She was a sporty woman, loved volleyball and swimming. Singing was also a hobby of hers. When the time came for her to give birth, her eldest son was ill and to make matters worse she was told the very sad news that her husband had died ...

Adoption

Photo credits: Bud Wichers

Giving birth without a child

For the delivery she went to Karya clinic in Semarang. She gave birth to Dr. Kriswo and midwife named Djakarija. Mother and baby were both perfectly healthy. She knows exactly how to remember the day of the birth and has never forgotten the date of birth of her baby. It was Sunday morning July 27, 1975 when the boy was born. Because her other son was ill, she left the baby in the clinic for a few days. The baby was given a bracelet with a number. She still knows, number 42. She wanted to give him a name later.

When she came back to the clinic a few days later to collect the baby, he was not in the ward. He was nowhere to be found. The cot was empty, her baby had disappeared. It became a heavy period of stress and grief for her. She could no longer think clearly. Her husband had died, her baby was gone. She decided to live with her sister Chandra. She has always stayed here.

A son's quest

Years later, her son, adopted by people in the Netherlands, called in the My Roots Foundation to find his mother. The seeker had searched by name and data in the papers where the village of Susukan was also listed. Via an online tip from the administration, Ibu Ellya Rosani emerged. Nobody else is called that in the village. A common name would be trickier. Nowadays everyone is registered online. The seeker checks the tip, searches the village and eventually finds Ibu Ellya.

After 54 years, someone named Timothy is looking for her! Disbelief overtakes Ibu Elya, but also joy after seeing the photo that looks like her son. A DNA test follows, taken by seeker Rudi to make sure she is the mother of Timothy. My Roots Foundation has in the past also experienced that they found the mother from the papers, but then it turned out to be no match with the adopted person.

Now her wish is to meet her son after all this time. Her son is called Timothy in the adoption papers. Ibu Elya never knew where her son was and that he would have been adopted to the Netherlands. She never spoke to anyone from an adoption organization or relinquished her son. She had wanted to call him Rudiyanto, but the baby was gone before she could name him.

Will they ever meet?

The moment she learns that her son is looking for her, she is ill. She is now 78 years old and has heart complaints and diabetes. Unfortunately, she has no money for a doctor's visit and she cannot afford medication. She is therefore in a critical situation regarding her health and no longer wants to eat and drink. Her swollen hands and feet are full of moisture and she has a large growth on her hand.

Then I, Ana, get her on the phone. On behalf of the My Roots Foundation I maintain contact with biological family. She tells me she urgently needs help and leaves a message that she hopes to meet her son again. She can only lie badly and it is up to God if they ever meet again. Her big question: when and if her son Tim can come ...

With this bad news I call her son to ask if he can and wants to help his mother. And he wants that only too badly. It would be terrible for both of them if he didn't get the chance to meet his mother again. He starts a fundraising campaign and uses it to raise money to buy medicines. This prevents amputation of hands and feet due to diabetes. The drugs work immediately and she gets better. The doctor prescribes treatment and medicines. She needs help, cannot do without medication and walking is difficult. She now uses a crutch. Going to the bathroom is difficult. She has a squat toilet and that's impossible for her.

Adoption

Forever in her heart

Help from her son comes on time, her life has now changed forever. Tim tries to get there as quickly as possible. It is now a question of waiting. Her greatest wish is to see her son, now the only great mission in her life. But because of Covid-19, they've been waiting for a few months now for immigration approval… She's really looking forward to embracing her son. She has never forgotten him, he has always been in her heart ...

In 1983 adoptions were stopped by Indonesia. Indonesia would want and be able to take care of the children themselves and there were more and more stories that babies were stolen, sold because there was a great demand for babies and children from the west. At the time, the Netherlands would have looked away. The My Roots Foundation therefore hopes for support from the state to accommodate adoptees. Everyone has the right to know who her or his family is.

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