Sebastian is looking for his mother after a hard adoption report: 'Maybe not abandoned after all'
The Hague PVV member Sebastian Kruis was adopted as a baby from Colombia and feels happy and at home in the Netherlands. Yet, after a damning report on international adoptions, he sets out in search of his biological family. "I feel a bit like I'm actually too late."
Two years ago, he wasn't there yet. Hagenaar Sebastian Kruis made a trip to his native country for the first time in 23 years, but did not feel called to search for his biological family in the capital Medellin. "The adoption is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in my life," said the PVV member in a political interview that became surprisingly personal. “It has given me a future and a mother. And also the nicest one around.”
Perhaps Kruis would still be quite laconic about his roots in Colombia, had it not been for a damning investigative report this year about adoptions from his native country, among others. Former top civil servant Tjibbe Joustra put the finger on abuses that had lasted for decades: corruption, child trafficking, forgery of documents and even child theft. Painful too: the Dutch government looked away for years.
"There had been signs for years that a lot had gone wrong with adoptions , but I have always taken that for granted," Sebastian Kruis says on a sunny summer terrace in Scheveningen. “This isn't about me, I thought. But I simply can't keep up after that hard report."
Why not?
“Part of the report is very specific about Colombia. And adoption stories that turned out to be wrong are similar to mine. At least on what little I know about my adoption. Often, according to the official version, a child has been abandoned by the mother in the hospital and that's how it says in my papers. But in practice it may have turned out differently.”
What if that doctor thought: it is better for everyone that the child does not grow up with that mother
Sebastian Cross
,,My mother would have been addicted to drugs and according to the doctor left after my birth without explanation after three days. But I'm not sure anymore. What if that doctor thought: it is better for everyone that the child does not grow up with that mother and took me away from her. Those examples are there. I can't get around that.”
How does that feel?
“Quite annoying, actually. That's why I want to tell this story. I wasn't too concerned with my background at all. As a child I am so happy with my family here and I also feel happy in the Netherlands. But now I often think about my Colombian roots. What if my story is wrong, what if my biological mother didn't abandon me? That would be awful.”
"So I'm going to look now. I have to. If not for myself, then for my family there. If something really went wrong, I'm also the only one who can do something. Adoptive mothers in Colombia no longer have any right to contact a child that they would have given up.”
I could of course help my biological family just now, if necessary
Sebastian Cross
A new trip to Colombia is not in it for a while. Corona threw a spanner in the works. The virus does not contribute to his peace of mind when it comes to his country of birth. Things are going very badly there, with nine times as many deaths as the Netherlands in a population about three times as large. Certainly so bad: because of the virus, 40 percent of Colombians now live below the poverty line.
It means that Sebastiaan Kruis experiences time pressure. ,,I could of course help my biological family just now, if necessary. That's why I sometimes think: am I not too late with my search? I'm going there as soon as I can. I have also been learning Spanish for some time now. It has to be, because in Colombia nobody speaks English at all, I've noticed."
How was that trip two years ago?
,,Awesome. On the day I turned thirty, I went to the hospital where I was born. It turned out to be a beautiful, quiet place with lots of greenery. That was a surprise. The environment was super hectic, with extremely high numbers of homeless people and a filthy mob in the streets, but the hospital was fine. That gave me peace. Everyone can go there, they are well looked after, including the people from the slums. You can be born in worse places.”
,,I didn't intend to, but I also did some research. They were extremely helpful with the notary listed in my adoption papers. I was allowed to leaf through the books and found a small card that has been in my Colombian mother's hospital bed: with her name, my height - 47 cm - and the time of my birth: a quarter to eleven in the morning. I did not know that yet.''
Did it also feel a bit at home?
“I got a better feeling about it. And people in Colombia are of course more like me than people in the Netherlands. What I also thought was funny: I went to the Flower Festival and to my surprise I could look over everyone there. No, then a concert in the Netherlands: there I am 20 centimeters shorter than the rest and I stand against my back during concerts.''
Sebastiaan Kruis is not very emotional at the prospect of the future search for his biological mother. ,,Because I can't go there now, I'll park it for a while. I can do that just fine," he says. ,,I also try to approach it a bit from a business perspective: what am I going to do later, how am I going to search?”
Tell...
,,I think I will travel to Colombia on my own. That seems the most sensible to me. It is Medellin where I come from (once billed as the murder capital of the world, ed.). During the day it is very nice there in some places, but in the evening you should not walk around in the poorer parts as a tourist. Especially not if you're white; I can still get lost in the environment.”
If my biological mother is still alive, it may also be that she prefers not to see me
Sebastian Cross
,,I have already requested everything I can ask for in documents about the adoption. Unfortunately I didn't learn much from that. I suspect that I have to approach it as they do in my favorite program Spoorloos . Ask around the neighborhoods. I know the name of my biological mother, I know a little bit in which neighborhoods I should look. That's how it will be."
“I try to be careful. If my biological mother is still alive, she may also prefer not to see me. Because after the adoption she moved on with her life and has a family that knows nothing about it. That's why I'm not just going to post an ad. I don't want to embarrass her."
What if you find a trail?
,,Then I call my mother in the Netherlands. And she immediately gets on the plane to Colombia. That's how we agreed and that's how I want it. I always call my mother if there is something wrong. So if I find someone in my native country, it's very important to me that I can rely on my mother."
And what if you don't find anyone?
"Then I did what I could. Then I can't regret what I've left behind. I am not one of the many adopted children who struggle with their identities. I'm happy.''
As an adopted child at the PVV
Born in a culture other than the Dutch, Sebastian Kruis found political shelter with a party that wants to severely limit migration and emphasizes the preservation of Dutch culture.
He sees no absurdity in it himself. “Stopping mass migration also means standing up for the migrants who are already here. Because it is they who live in the overcrowded, petrified neighborhoods in the big cities. If the consequences of extra migration are felt anywhere, it is in the Schilderswijk, Transvaal and Moerwijk, not in neighborhoods such as Zeeheldenkwartier or Statenkwartier. Incidentally, I also understand very well when Dutch residents of The Hague say that they have the feeling that they are losing their city.”
Other cultures
He personally feels more familiar with the Schilderswijk than in the Statenkwartier. “Just in terms of color. I also take the issues there very seriously. I have not needed much support myself, but I understand that people from other cultures are more likely to claim benefits, because it is less easy for them to participate. But I do say emphatically: you have to want to participate in the Netherlands.”